FissionMailed

[Somewhere on the 5th floor, you may or may not notice a few signs up, advertising a certain "Charm lesson" for those interested. If you're curious enough to wander into this makeshift classroom, you will be greeted by the sight of your apparent instructor, dressed appropriately in teacher-esq attire. Class has already started; a few of her students already sitting at their desks and either reading or going through a few notes.]

[She looks toward the door as you enter and taps her foot on the tiled floor.]

"You're late."

((OOC: Class is in session, and you are late. Feel free to slither in and blend in with the crowd, find a partner to cram with, or ask the teacher to fill you in on anything you might have missed. Though most traditional Charm Schools are usually reserved for young girls, Mama will not discriminate between anyone willing enough to enter her classroom. P.S- Ohey FM, I'm back <3))

[EVA's been a good girl recently, up until a few hours ago. No, really! ..."Good" by EVA's standards, anyway.]

[But right now, Mama finds herself just wanting to get a little... naughty.]

[It's not entirely her fault though. If Ocelot hadn't put his greedy little fingers on her son's gift-box earlier, maybe he wouldn't have been taken down in such a manner. As a good and responsible parent, it was EVA's duty to take necessary action.]

[...She'll admit, however, that what she's about to do is perhaps... not entirely necessary. But the idea is just so fun.]

[It's a harmless prank between two long-time friends, that's all...]

[Ocelot lays shirtless on top of EVA's large bed, in the midst of her luxurious bedroom. The unconscious man was easy enough to move around. His belt-buckle is undone. Carefully, she lifts his head and pours just a bit of alcohol- Brandy, specifically- into his mouth, so that he'd be able to taste the flavor on his tongue upon waking up. And then EVA herself removes her clothing until she stands in nothing but laced panties.]

[It's been almost 5 hours exactly since she shot him with that tranq. He should be stirring any moment now...]

[Barely able to restrain her smirk, EVA crawls into bed beside Ocelot and lifts the covers above them both. For the finishing touch, the woman carefully leans over and gives her 'sleeping beauty' a deep kiss on the lips- enough so that the stain of her pink lipstick will stay with him for a while.]

[All of the pieces for a very entertaining reaction are now set in place. With the way she mistakenly bumped his head on a few things while on her way here, he might have a bit of a headache as well... Perfect; hopefully it'll feel close enough to an actual hangover for him.]

[Oh; did I mention that there are engagement rings on both of their fingers? They weren't very hard to find.]

[EVA gives a very bed-head-looking tussle to her blonde hair before laying her head across Ocelot's chest; her own naked breasts pressed against him as she closes her eyes and waits for him to awaken.]

((For fancy_shooting ))

[So, it has finally come. The day you've all been waiting for. And by "all", I mean Tanya.]

[Once upon a time- May 15th, 1936 to be exact- in a place known as Meridian Idaho, a little blonde girl was created from the rib of man born. ...Ah, but you've read all this before, haven't you? So let's skip the dramatics and get right to the point.]

[The point is that today is EVA's birthday. Once again, you might begin to hear some loud chatter and jazzy party music (Which may occasionally turn into rock music because Tanya wont stop touching the fucking radio) as you walk through the 4th floor hallway. A large sign reading-]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EVA!!!

[-Now hangs in this 4th floor hall, beside a wide-open door that leads to the very large pool area. There is booze, there are snacks, and there is one seriously big ass cake on a nearaby table. (Although, no one would object if someone would bring MORE cake, since... well, you know why.]

((There are changing rooms and showers in the back for all who want to swim. Everyone else can just lounge around in one of the lawn chairs, dance, eat, get frisky, whatever you want. Anything goes in an EVA party! Getting all liquored up and/or making an ass of yourself is both allowed and highly encouraged!))

[A couple of days have passed since talking to a certain Big Boss. Since then, EVA has been feeling... restless. Irritable. She needs to do something, but the woman can't seem to figure out what.]

[As of right now, all she could think of what releasing some tension by hitting the gym. A woman her age has to take extra care to stay in shape, after all. EVA can now be seen stretching; one leg high up on the wall while the other remains planted on the ground.]

((Simple post is simple. Anyone else working out? :V))

So 1985!Mama is walking around in a bikini as per usual, minding her own business, when she decides to make actual use of her half-nakedness and head down to the pool.

As she enters, everything seems normal. Not too many people around, but that's alright. EVA climbs the long later of the tallest diving-board and prepares to perform one of her infamously unnecessary stunts. Taking a small breath, the woman does just that- leaping off of the platform, twisting in mid-air, she lands perfectly....

*SPLAT!*


....Into the chocolate pudding below.

"Wh- what the HELL?"

((THE POOL HAS RANDOMLY BEEN FILLED WITH CHOCOLATE PUDDING. Open to everyone butwantsnoodles ))

[So, it's the day after her hypothermia scare and Mama is feeling a lot better. A little drowsy and sluggish maybe, but better. As of right now, she is in her room wearing silk pajamas and a robe.]

[She sits in a chair at her table with a bowl of noodles.]

((Come visit? Just beware of the Fido that may or may not hump your leg upon entry.))

[Is that.... a garage door? When the hell did THAT get here?

Mama has walked through this particular hallway many times. She's certain that this door has never been here before. Spotting a small switch, curiosity gets the best of her and she presses it. Yes, she's supposed to be looking for extra blankets and some kind of entertainment for Null- Seeing as Frankie put his younger self in her care. But... this'll only take a moment. She just wants to peek inside, that's all....

And so she does. But it's too dark to make anything out, so she flips a light-switch and-]

"...Oh my."

[It's her motorcycle! At long last, yet another EVA is reunited with her bike. She walks over to it, letting her eyes travel longingly over the beautiful machinery. Her fingers smooth over the leather seat, and- Ooh, she just can't help herself! Mama takes a seat and grips the handlebars. She's missed this so much... ]

[When she turns her bike on, it returns the favor. The bike's engine roars powerfully, and EVA closes her eyes... taking a moment to let it purr between her legs. It's vibrations travel through her thighs and straight up her spine. She shivers just a bit, biting her lower lip.]

((Nothing to see here, folks. Just a lady and her bike. And boy does she seem to be enjoying herself... Maybe a little too much? Feel free to poke or just enjoy the show.))

Well, it certainly LOOKS like the Tanya we know. Only... her clothes are a bit more loose than usual. Maybe a few other things are off too.

For one- She's not being loud, obnoxious, or rude. The young girl simply sits cross-legged at a chair in the lounge, reading a porno romance novel.

In her mouth is a lit cigar. Looks like Big Boss's brand...

((Poke?))

Mama's in the lounge, reading a very interesting romance novel.

There are plenty others stacked high in front of her on the coffee table. She's definitely been taking a few trips to the library.

((Feel free to poke, or even pick up your own to read. *Also provide a link to the insanely cheesy cover of the novel for lulz if you want :P))

[Smoking a Big Boss' cigar] ....What, no pumpkin pie?

[New!Mama is pissed. There are people walking around who are supposed to be dead... This is obviously some kind of sick joke. WELL THIS 49 YEAR OLD WOMAN AINT IN THE MOOD FOR IT.

...It doesn't help that Jack just kindasorta told her that she looks OLD. Forget doing things the nice way- It's time to get some answers.

Anyone walking by the 3rd floor hallway is getting jumped and questioned by an angry woman lurking in the shadows.]