FissionMailed

[Imagine if you will, a normal guy in his late twenties - enlisted and leading a rather uneventful life in the United States Marine Corps as a Corporal until recently. With transfer papers for a top secret deployment upon the USS Discovery, things were looking up. Finally, he might see some action. . . And not like the odd transfer to the far east where he and his buddies got a bit tipsy on rice wine and hit the red light district down-right-fierce; shoryu-ken style.
But life has a way of playing cruel crappy tricks now and then. And today was no exception. Waking up after a 24-hour watch duty and a few drinks afterward in gear that could be best described as "The Gordon's Fisherman" to keep civilians from being suspicious; he was yanked out of bed by his crew member to attend some blabbermouth Marine Commandant's speech about an overpriced toy. To make matters worse, he arrived half dressed and still somewhat dazed. Dirty looks were given by fellow personnel for his lax dress standard, but since he wasn't directly in front... it didn't matter.
As the commanding officer droned off about "Shadows & Moses", this 'normal guy' dozed off - awaking here in the Nexus. Figuring it for some lame duck trick, he deviously decided to play one of his own on his cohorts... with the aid of the main lobby broom closet, and a quickly cut hole(yay for drills?)... roughly 3½ inches in diameter at crotch level. The malicious soldier stepped into the broom closet, dropped any remaining apparel off of his person, and... well, readied himself to be pushed right-on through eventually. Sure, he thought about the serious trouble this could cause; but this was payback. This was for comedy.]
This'll teach those bastards for leaving me in that freaky hotel room in Thailand... Let's see how they like a little Glorified Action!


((OOC: For those characters approaching by, they would find a locked broom closet door with an odd "mid-level hole" adjacent to the main lobby. Obviously, the 'surprise' will appear when someone(namely an adult)passes by.))