...Tanya...?

[let-mama.livejournal.com]

Well, it certainly LOOKS like the Tanya we know. Only... her clothes are a bit more loose than usual. Maybe a few other things are off too.

For one- She's not being loud, obnoxious, or rude. The young girl simply sits cross-legged at a chair in the lounge, reading a porno romance novel.

In her mouth is a lit cigar. Looks like Big Boss's brand...

((Poke?))

Because I can't control myself >.>

[markhorlovin.livejournal.com]

[There is now a goat... in the middle of the hallway...]

From the talented mind that brought you A Hard Day's Death and Sweetie's Diamonds...

[jamesbondlerize.livejournal.com]

[The new arrival takes one look at his surroundings and immediately throws a hissy fit.]

No, no, no!

This is all wrong!

Where's all the SEX? The VIOLENCE? The WITTY ONE-LINERS and CRINGE-WORTHY INNUENDO?

And what the HELL is with all this PINK! For crying out loud, you guys belong to the fandom of a M-rated video game! SO ACT LIKE IT! How else are we going to capture that magical 18-35 year old male demographic? Not by spouting cat ears and playing with little girls, that's for sure!

They may have kicked me off Splinter Cell, but I'll be DAMNED if I let this chase me off a franchise I'm contractually obligated to adapt to prose format!

[His mouth thins into a grim hard line and he clenches his trusty #1 Bic pen tightly.]

I think some REWRITES are in order.

((OOC: Three guesses as to who this is and "Major Zero" doesn't count.))

[Go, Go, Troublemakers!]

[0ldsnake.livejournal.com]

[There's an Old Snake with time on his hands and nothing to do but Hal found him something to do.  Something that the both of them can do...for no other reason than they dislike this putrid pinkness of the corridors.  He's stalked down to the basement in search of paint.  There seems to be a bit of a chromatic stash of colors deep in the back corner of the cellar and he's in the process of dragging out cans of used and unused paint.  He's already changed into an old pair of beat up BDUs and an old, faded, Army green t-shirt.]

((ooc: Help or hinder.  The choice is yours.))

:(

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[Today's new bulletin is brief and lacks the ceremony of the others. Sort of like if someone were typing onehanded and getting exhausted.]

1. Women are civilians. No exceptions.
2. Alcoholic substances, narcotics, and gatherings of more than three people are banned. (Exception: properly-administered medical anesthetics.)
3. Big Boss now admired Ocelot for all those years, not the other way around.
4. The book's prose style is now mandatory and everyone is expected to follow it.

Example:

[He walked to the door.]

Should be

[Like a fierce jungle predator, the young marine stalked in the direction of his final showdown.]

If you have questions, please refer to our style manual.

5. Gray Fox is now banned.
6. Gray Fox is now banned.
7. Gray Fox is now banned.
8. WHY ISN'T IT WORKING.
9. Use rations to survive the microwave hallway.
10. Use punches to destroy brick walls.
11. Panther musk is

[The rest is illegible. Looks like someone got coffee on the copy machine.]

...EVA...?

[totallytanya.livejournal.com]

[Boobs are fun! 8D]

[Have an older!Tanya, shamelessly walking down the hallway with a hand in her own shirt, squishing a boob.]

[Because, well, what would YOU do if you just got them?]

*Sqeeze squeeze squeeze*

LITTLE SHOP

[bringsuffering.livejournal.com]

[Pain has been thinking he needs a job. And what better job than selling things, especially in this time of crisis?]

[And so he has opened up a stand for people who need things.]

POPCORN●FLOWERS●FLOWER TEAS

●PERFECTLY LEGAL NARCOTICS●

MEDICINE●QUALITY BOOKS● "BOOKS" ●FOOD

MAKE ME AN OFFER I CAN'T REFUSE!

[He's waiting in his little stall, all his wares lined up in a row, waiting for the proper moment. He has his specialties all lined up~]

super-effective

[whyishesoblond.livejournal.com]

[Blondie isn't bothered by the retcons, since it gives people added incentive to leave him alone. He's been minding his own business since then.

Unfortunately his idle curiosity brings him to open a room with a red, illuminated door. There's a bisected circle symbol on the door he vaguely remembers having seen somewhere else, which is what draws him towards it.

He takes a deep breath, pushes it open, and - ]


BLONDIE
LONELY nature
██████████████████████
47/47

Snake Pokémon

TYPE: Fighting/Ice


This Pokémon lives a solitary life in the frozen north. It is hostile to intruders, but likes to avoid conflict. It uses its 180 IQ and its strong senses to detect danger.


[It's a Pokémon Battle Colosseum! If you're here, you must turn-battle until you're knocked out. But remember, you only have four moves and you can't use any items.

Still, what could be more child-friendly than Pokémon?]

My eyes...they hurt...

[sweetlilmonster.livejournal.com]

[ as much as Adrian is enjoying the new child-friendliness of his new home, it does have its draw backs, and unfortunately for the boy it has started not to go so well.]

[ the boy wobbles down the hallways in a dizzy state as well as leaving a trail of drool in his wake.  he is not liking the bright colors, and in the end has be come quite sickened by it]

uhhh.... Vampy? Jackie?  Adriana?.... ahh ...MOMMY?    .... ANYBODY? help?

[[ help him ? y/n?]]