Wrestling Arena

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid steps into a room and is deafened by screams.]

[Pyrotechnics launch to either side. 80s arena rock blares, competing with the shouts of the fans that fill the stadium.]

[The announcer's voice booms through the speakers as Liquid strides down the isle in tights painted with flames. He revels in the shouts like a born showman.]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GET READY FOR

Theeeee Anglo Adonis, the Liverpool Lothario, the Tea-Sipping Terror! The pile of might from the Isle of Wight! Manchester's premier manchest!

[He vaults into the ring with a flip, landing perfectly with arms upraised, drinking in the hatred like the light of the sun]

LIQUIIIIIIID SNAAAAAAAAKE!

[Liquid grabs a microphone from a ref and shoves him away.]

[He paces the ring, scowling and sneering]

I see the scum of the world is out in force tonight!

[He is rewarded with a chorus of boo and shouts of outrage.]

How kind of you to crawl out of your gutters to pay tribute to your superior!

[His accent is exaggerated, because British people are terrible and you hate them so much.]

[He gives a dramatic toss to his luxurious mane of hair.]

Surely that must be why you're here.

[Then sweeps out his arms and shouts]

I DON'T SEE ANY MEN HERE TO GIVE ME A FIGHT!

[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]

[Liquid waits for it to die down to the perfect hush, in order to wring the maximum drama from the moment.]

Is that all? Is it too much to hope that these pathetic colonies provide one challenger!?

((It is time to throw your hat to the mat and wrestle down. There's room for all varieties of heroes and scumbags; wrestlers, managers, commentators, the buxom ladies in spandex who hang around to no immediate purpose. The only law is terrible, terrible nicknames.))

((I apologize to every British person. Ever.))

Comments

Food Stand

[reallyold1]

[What in the world is he doing here, again?]

[Well, never mind.]

[Get your refreshments from the old man and his trusty mutt!]

buxom ladies, you say

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

[ Snake frowns, feeling a bit ill after listening to Liquid toot his own horn like that. He rubbed his temples, knowing that the man would love it even if the audience was booing at him. ]

I bet Mistress'd make short work of you... [ Grabs for a bottle of water-- and sort of just realizes the bright blue spandex pants he's in... He's shirtless... and there's a large python slithering about his shoulders. Snake does the manliest thing possible. ]

Nrhgh!

[ Throws the snake off, dodge-rolls and hides under a nearby box. It wasn't to say he was afraid of snakes-- rather... he never expected them to be crawling on him so amicably. ]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

What's that? An old man hiding in the corner?

[DRAMATIC POINT]

Hobble back to the home, grandfather.

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

[The box shuffles a bit, and Snake peers out of one of the handle holes, looking at Liquid. Suddenly, their fight on Metal Gear Rex seemed to make a lot more sense.

Standing up, Snake threw off the box, the python slithering up to him.]

Grandfather, huh... [He didn't appreciate being called that.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[As dramatic entries go, it isn't the best, but it'll do.]

So you've finally come out of hiding!

[sneers] Why don't you surrender and save yourself a broken hip.

I do, actually

[ladyofvermilion.livejournal.com]

[Right on cue there's a familiar woman standing just outside the ring, dressed in a leather belly shirt that pushes up her breasts and just manages to cover her nipples, a leather skirt that doesn't even come down to mid-thigh, and high heel boots. Her hair is tied back in an elaborate bun.]

[Julie walks over to Snake and slips her fingers underneath his box to lift it off him. Her voice purrs to him just loud enough for him to hear.]

Come on out, handsome. The only thing you need to fear biting you is me.

===/(゜Д゜)/

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

[Looks up, an exclamation mark JUST ABOUT TO APPEAR, but it manages to conceal itself when Snake realizes who it is. He slowly stands up, looking at Julie.]

Janet...

[joyevoda.livejournal.com]

[Men you say?]

[Then I suppose you wouldn't mind the manliest person here stepping forward.]

[Because hell if she's going to be one of the buxom ladies in spandex, she's here to fight.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid is silent as she steps into the ring]

[then he scoffs into the microphone]

Are you serious? A woman is the best you can do?

[oh god Liquid you are going to die.]

[joyevoda.livejournal.com]

[She fixes him with a serious look.]

You should count yourself lucky. At least you're not going to be fighting an idiot.

[She spoke directly to him, not one for showmanship.]

[naked-memories.livejournal.com]

[Opening a door, he was blinded by bright lights and momentarily overwhelmed with ridiculous amounts of bass deafening him. Before he knew it, he was walking down a ramp and dressed in what was usually designated as his 'Naked' camo, skin covered in... baby oil?]

What the hell is this?

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

This is where I'm going to DESTROY you !

[naked-memories.livejournal.com]

[Big Boss nearly doubled over with laughter at this declaration.]

You are kidding, right? You couldn't destroy a narcoleptic fly.

It's a harness, you dumb blond.

[otaku-mk-ii.livejournal.com]

...

...what is going on and why am I wearing a headset?

[Best commentator ever: completely clueless.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid catches sight of him]

[He flips on of the ring. He leans on the announcer's table and smiles flirtatiously.]

If it isn't my favorite announcer.

[The gays are also terrible and scary and you hate them.]

[otaku-mk-ii.livejournal.com]

--!

[OH GOD WHAT IS GOING ON]

U-uh...

[notsostealthy.livejournal.com]

IT'S SHOWTIME

Oh yes.

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[taps his foot while he waits for the text to scroll]

We haven't all day!

[notsostealthy.livejournal.com]

Kept you waiting, huh?

[Snake steps into the arena, selects a camo with a nice pattern of different shades of blue.]

You think you have what it takes this time?

[carrioncannon.livejournal.com]

[Wearing a headset over his immense bald skull, announcer Raven sits down at the table with a creak of protest from the chair. Fortunately these chairs are made for hitting people, so it holds.]

[He intones into the microphone]

Shall we go now, you and I, while the evening is still spread out against the sky like a patient etherized upon a table, which is to say, are you ready to rumble?

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

That's really not how you...oh, fine.

[carrioncannon.livejournal.com]

In this corner, the lion with the scars of thorns in his mighty paws! In the other corner- someone else!

i promise this is the last time

[geneticaviatrs.livejournal.com]

LADIES AND GEEEEENTLEMEN!

[There appeared to be some commotion backstage.]

A CHALLENGER APPROACHES!

[Cathy was apparently shoved out from backstage and toward the ring, wearing something a bit like this and not looking too happy about it.]

THEEEEEE FLAT-CHESTED FIGHTER FROM SAN FRANCISCO, THE PRINCESS OF PAIN, THE HELLMISTRESS OF HELL-BEATINGS AND THE TERROR WITH A TASER! CALIFORNIA'S MOST SCANTILY CLAD CONTENDER!

[If looks could kill, that announcer would be a pile of smoldering ashes after the one Cathy gave him.] If you alliterate one more time, I'm going to shove that microphone up your ass.

[The announcer seemed to seriously consider that threat.]

CATHERIIIIIINE MIIILLER!

[Do you see the evil look that Cathy is giving you while she's walking up to that ring, Liquid? You should, because it is the face of a Cathy Miller who has just been called flat-chested and is not pleased about it.]

I <3 you so much for this and Liquid is about to get his ass kicked by a girl again

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

Well, well! Another sad attempt at a challenger?

[Liquid tosses his hair and addresses the crowd]

Do you plan on continually sacrificing maidens like the king of Crete appeasing the minotaur? [mostly silence. A few confused boos.] It's a common reference, read a book!

[DRAMATIC POINT to Cathy] I'll give you one chance to run. There's no pride in beating little girls.

xDD lol poor Liquid

[geneticaviatrs.livejournal.com]

[She slid between the ropes on the ring and strode up to Liquid in all her spandex-clad (http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/5300000/Backstage-Beauties-Michelle-McCool-wwe-divas-5398289-382-390.jpg) glory.]

Liquid, I'm going to shove my foot so far down your throat that I'll get shit on my shoe.

[She snatched the microphone out of his hand and turned toward the audience.]

Who wants to see me wipe the floor with this limey bastard?

[There was uproarious applause. Sorry, Liquid, the cute girl in small amounts of spandex gets the crowd's vote.]