http://whyamisobritish.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fissionmailed2011-01-11 01:56 am

Wrestling Arena

[Liquid steps into a room and is deafened by screams.]

[Pyrotechnics launch to either side. 80s arena rock blares, competing with the shouts of the fans that fill the stadium.]

[The announcer's voice booms through the speakers as Liquid strides down the isle in tights painted with flames. He revels in the shouts like a born showman.]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GET READY FOR

Theeeee Anglo Adonis, the Liverpool Lothario, the Tea-Sipping Terror! The pile of might from the Isle of Wight! Manchester's premier manchest!


[He vaults into the ring with a flip, landing perfectly with arms upraised, drinking in the hatred like the light of the sun]

LIQUIIIIIIID SNAAAAAAAAKE!

[Liquid grabs a microphone from a ref and shoves him away.]

[He paces the ring, scowling and sneering]

I see the scum of the world is out in force tonight!

[He is rewarded with a chorus of boo and shouts of outrage.]

How kind of you to crawl out of your gutters to pay tribute to your superior!

[His accent is exaggerated, because British people are terrible and you hate them so much.]

[He gives a dramatic toss to his luxurious mane of hair.]

Surely that must be why you're here.

[Then sweeps out his arms and shouts]

I DON'T SEE ANY MEN HERE TO GIVE ME A FIGHT!

[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]

[Liquid waits for it to die down to the perfect hush, in order to wring the maximum drama from the moment.]

Is that all? Is it too much to hope that these pathetic colonies provide one challenger!?

((It is time to throw your hat to the mat and wrestle down. There's room for all varieties of heroes and scumbags; wrestlers, managers, commentators, the buxom ladies in spandex who hang around to no immediate purpose. The only law is terrible, terrible nicknames.))

((I apologize to every British person. Ever.))

[identity profile] no-philanthropy.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[No, no, it's quite over.]

[Hal kind of likes having his boyfriend able to perform, if you know what I mean.]

[He'll just be ducking into the ring with an icepack and helping Liquid to his corner.]

[identity profile] no-philanthropy.livejournal.com 2011-01-17 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[Hal thinks you're kind of an idiot, but you're the kind of idiot he loves, Liquid.]

[He kisses Liquid's cheek softly] I think you did very well. It was an amazing fight.

[Even if he had winced and flinched at every blow.]