Wrestling Arena

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid steps into a room and is deafened by screams.]

[Pyrotechnics launch to either side. 80s arena rock blares, competing with the shouts of the fans that fill the stadium.]

[The announcer's voice booms through the speakers as Liquid strides down the isle in tights painted with flames. He revels in the shouts like a born showman.]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GET READY FOR

Theeeee Anglo Adonis, the Liverpool Lothario, the Tea-Sipping Terror! The pile of might from the Isle of Wight! Manchester's premier manchest!

[He vaults into the ring with a flip, landing perfectly with arms upraised, drinking in the hatred like the light of the sun]

LIQUIIIIIIID SNAAAAAAAAKE!

[Liquid grabs a microphone from a ref and shoves him away.]

[He paces the ring, scowling and sneering]

I see the scum of the world is out in force tonight!

[He is rewarded with a chorus of boo and shouts of outrage.]

How kind of you to crawl out of your gutters to pay tribute to your superior!

[His accent is exaggerated, because British people are terrible and you hate them so much.]

[He gives a dramatic toss to his luxurious mane of hair.]

Surely that must be why you're here.

[Then sweeps out his arms and shouts]

I DON'T SEE ANY MEN HERE TO GIVE ME A FIGHT!

[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]

[Liquid waits for it to die down to the perfect hush, in order to wring the maximum drama from the moment.]

Is that all? Is it too much to hope that these pathetic colonies provide one challenger!?

((It is time to throw your hat to the mat and wrestle down. There's room for all varieties of heroes and scumbags; wrestlers, managers, commentators, the buxom ladies in spandex who hang around to no immediate purpose. The only law is terrible, terrible nicknames.))

((I apologize to every British person. Ever.))

Comments

[joyevoda.livejournal.com]

[Luckily Liquid will not have to go without having his head slammed into the floor. Later though.]

[The Joy, alert and ready now, grabs his arm as he goes to grab her, and spins around behind him, twisting his arm up. It's not enough to break, but enough to be painful.]

Are you done being humiliated yet?

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid grunts]

Never!

[Wait, that didn't come out right]

[He twists, ducks, and grabs to fling her spectacularly in the air]

[joyevoda.livejournal.com]

[She righted herself in the air and landed on her feet, like a cat.]

[Without wasting a moment to banter, she rushed forward this time, aiming an elbow to the gut and trying to get behind him again to kick his legs out from under him so she could introduce his face to the floor.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

Impressive acrobatics! You have a great career ahead of you in the circus.

[Oh, hello, floor. Nice to meet you.]

[joyevoda.livejournal.com]

It's important for a soldier to be not just strong, but agile.

[She backed off, not wanting him to throw off her balance again.]

Especially when facing an opponent bigger than yourself.

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

And what would you know about being a soldier?

[joyevoda.livejournal.com]

Plenty.

[She narrowed her eyes at him.]

Don't assume just because I am young that I don't know what I'm talking about.

[She has been kicking your ass thus far.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

Amusing. I've often said the same. With my fist!

[He lunges toward The Joy in a flurry of blows]

[You used LOGIC on LIQUID! It's not very effective...]

[joyevoda.livejournal.com]

[What, Liquid that doesn't even make any sense.]

[The Joy was getting tired of the foolish man's antics, so she was about to start teaching with pain. Blocking most of his blows, she lunged in, jabbing her elbow right into his stomach, aiming to knock the wind out of him. Still, Liquid could be fast when he wanted to, and he was no dunce when it came to battle, no matter how foolish he acted and he managed at least one hit in- hard enough that it would bruise later but The Joy hardly flinched.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Your point?]

Oof!

[There goes his breath. He doubles over.]

[in the process he claws for her hair to pull her into a headbutt.]

No more- playing nice!

I apologize

[joyevoda.livejournal.com]

[!]

[The Joy didn't see that coming and with a crack his head contacted with hers. She reeled back, but mentally she was snapping into gear. Grasping his arms, she shot forward with a knee, aimed for Liquid's groin. The Boss is very capable of not playing nice either.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid is utterly silenced and his face goes blank]

[He makes a strange, very quiet squeak]

[Then fall to the mat clutching himself and blinded with pain]

[The referee takes the center of the ring.]

BELOW THE BELT! THE CHALLENGER IS DISQUALIFIED!

[It is little consolation to Liquid.]

[joyevoda.livejournal.com]

[The Joy blinks, as if she didn't realize there were rules in this mock fight they were having. Huh. Usually when she had practice fights they were all out. YOU DO NOT AVOID HITTING BELOW THE BELT IN WAR.]

[Unphased, she straightened and turned to leave to the sound of the crowd's shouts, there was a mix of cheering and boos, for whatever reason.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Also the referee is on Liquid's side, because what good villain doesn't have things rigged?]

[gasping from the mat] ...cheating...this isn't over!

[no-philanthropy.livejournal.com]

[No, no, it's quite over.]

[Hal kind of likes having his boyfriend able to perform, if you know what I mean.]

[He'll just be ducking into the ring with an icepack and helping Liquid to his corner.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid limps off with Hal's assistance, to the jeers of the crowd]

[shouts back] I don't care what you think, you're not even real!

[no-philanthropy.livejournal.com]

[Hal thinks you're kind of an idiot, but you're the kind of idiot he loves, Liquid.]

[He kisses Liquid's cheek softly] I think you did very well. It was an amazing fight.

[Even if he had winced and flinched at every blow.]