Wrestling Arena

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid steps into a room and is deafened by screams.]

[Pyrotechnics launch to either side. 80s arena rock blares, competing with the shouts of the fans that fill the stadium.]

[The announcer's voice booms through the speakers as Liquid strides down the isle in tights painted with flames. He revels in the shouts like a born showman.]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GET READY FOR

Theeeee Anglo Adonis, the Liverpool Lothario, the Tea-Sipping Terror! The pile of might from the Isle of Wight! Manchester's premier manchest!

[He vaults into the ring with a flip, landing perfectly with arms upraised, drinking in the hatred like the light of the sun]

LIQUIIIIIIID SNAAAAAAAAKE!

[Liquid grabs a microphone from a ref and shoves him away.]

[He paces the ring, scowling and sneering]

I see the scum of the world is out in force tonight!

[He is rewarded with a chorus of boo and shouts of outrage.]

How kind of you to crawl out of your gutters to pay tribute to your superior!

[His accent is exaggerated, because British people are terrible and you hate them so much.]

[He gives a dramatic toss to his luxurious mane of hair.]

Surely that must be why you're here.

[Then sweeps out his arms and shouts]

I DON'T SEE ANY MEN HERE TO GIVE ME A FIGHT!

[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]

[Liquid waits for it to die down to the perfect hush, in order to wring the maximum drama from the moment.]

Is that all? Is it too much to hope that these pathetic colonies provide one challenger!?

((It is time to throw your hat to the mat and wrestle down. There's room for all varieties of heroes and scumbags; wrestlers, managers, commentators, the buxom ladies in spandex who hang around to no immediate purpose. The only law is terrible, terrible nicknames.))

((I apologize to every British person. Ever.))

Comments

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

...[SUDDENLY ON THE GROUND ARGH]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[HAH! And best possible icon for that]

[sneers as he goes for the pin] Not so cocky now, are you? You're showing your age!

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

Nn... [Suddenly kicks up his legs, aiming his feet right for Liquid's face.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid jumps aside as the crowd cheers Snake's efforts]

Better! But now it's time to put you down for your nap!

[Liquid aims a haymaker straight to Snake]

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

[Stands up immediately, just in time to manage to block the powerful punch, grunting with the effort.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

Is that the best you can do, Snake?

[Liquid goes in to pick him up and bodyslam him]

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

[Struggles, but ends up being slammed under Liquid's weight-- ugh. He coughs violently, then throws the other off him, moving to tackle him.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[sweetly] Emphysema acting up?

[and then is tackled to the ground]

[he tries to punch Snake off of him]

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

[Takes the punch, but stays right where he is, lifting his fists and throwing them at Liquid's face.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid's head WHOMPs against the mat with each blow]

[He tries to smack an elbow into Snake's face]

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

[Struck by the el-blow to his face and falls back, gripping his face.] Nrgh!

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid can sense that pun!]

[stands over him] Ready to give up?

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

[Glares, and swings his legs around, aiming to trip Liquid.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Success!]

[Except that Liquid falls squarely onto Snake.]

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

Ploughf! [crushed.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[That is a completely intentional pin]

[the referee counts] ONE! ... TWO! ...

[imthe-shit.livejournal.com]

[SDFJ Shouts loudly, suddenly pushing upward, shoving Liquid off.]