Wrestling Arena

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid steps into a room and is deafened by screams.]

[Pyrotechnics launch to either side. 80s arena rock blares, competing with the shouts of the fans that fill the stadium.]

[The announcer's voice booms through the speakers as Liquid strides down the isle in tights painted with flames. He revels in the shouts like a born showman.]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GET READY FOR

Theeeee Anglo Adonis, the Liverpool Lothario, the Tea-Sipping Terror! The pile of might from the Isle of Wight! Manchester's premier manchest!

[He vaults into the ring with a flip, landing perfectly with arms upraised, drinking in the hatred like the light of the sun]

LIQUIIIIIIID SNAAAAAAAAKE!

[Liquid grabs a microphone from a ref and shoves him away.]

[He paces the ring, scowling and sneering]

I see the scum of the world is out in force tonight!

[He is rewarded with a chorus of boo and shouts of outrage.]

How kind of you to crawl out of your gutters to pay tribute to your superior!

[His accent is exaggerated, because British people are terrible and you hate them so much.]

[He gives a dramatic toss to his luxurious mane of hair.]

Surely that must be why you're here.

[Then sweeps out his arms and shouts]

I DON'T SEE ANY MEN HERE TO GIVE ME A FIGHT!

[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]

[Liquid waits for it to die down to the perfect hush, in order to wring the maximum drama from the moment.]

Is that all? Is it too much to hope that these pathetic colonies provide one challenger!?

((It is time to throw your hat to the mat and wrestle down. There's room for all varieties of heroes and scumbags; wrestlers, managers, commentators, the buxom ladies in spandex who hang around to no immediate purpose. The only law is terrible, terrible nicknames.))

((I apologize to every British person. Ever.))

Comments

[geneticaviatrs.livejournal.com]

You're all talk, sweetheart.

[The crowd is probably starting to get a bit restless at their bantering. They came here to watch a big British dude get his ass kicked by a scantily-clad girl, not for wit.]

Yeah, I'm looking right at one.

[And, to add insult to insult,] By the way, your roots are showing.

[The hair has been insulted, Liquid. WAT DO.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[the crowd lets out an oooo.]

[Liquid sinks into a fighting stance.]

You had your chance to run.

[WAT DO indeed.]

[how about PUNCH]

[he holds back, of course. He doesn't want to kill the girl.]

[geneticaviatrs.livejournal.com]

[And that would be his first mistake.]

[Block, put your foot there, arm there, push and sweep with the leg and Liquid, meet mat.]

Yeah, I'm totally the one who should be running away here.

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[Liquid is caught by surprise and falls]

[he lands in a back handspring and flips to his feet]

You'll have to do better than that!

[he charges, then at the last moment dodges aside to get around her and try to pin her arms behind her back]

[geneticaviatrs.livejournal.com]

[Cathy is small and quick and hard to hold on to. It's how she makes up for what she lacks in brute strength.]

[She twists to get out of his grip and stomps down on his knee; it would be hard for him to hold onto her if he couldn't stand, after all.]

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

Slippery little-! Stand still!

[He dodges out of the way, but not before his knee acquires a nice bruise]

[room or not, he doesn't want to injure her lest he get tazed in the bollocks for it later, and besides, the idea is to put on a show]

If acrobatics is what you want, I'll give you more than you can handle!

[He climbs up the post and leaps at her with a flip]

[geneticaviatrs.livejournal.com]

Quit running your mouth and start fighting.

[You know what really screws up a leap like that?]

[Someone's foot (http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b284/Naoko_Youko/hbk5.gif) to your chest.]