http://whyamisobritish.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fissionmailed2011-01-11 01:56 am

Wrestling Arena

[Liquid steps into a room and is deafened by screams.]

[Pyrotechnics launch to either side. 80s arena rock blares, competing with the shouts of the fans that fill the stadium.]

[The announcer's voice booms through the speakers as Liquid strides down the isle in tights painted with flames. He revels in the shouts like a born showman.]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GET READY FOR

Theeeee Anglo Adonis, the Liverpool Lothario, the Tea-Sipping Terror! The pile of might from the Isle of Wight! Manchester's premier manchest!


[He vaults into the ring with a flip, landing perfectly with arms upraised, drinking in the hatred like the light of the sun]

LIQUIIIIIIID SNAAAAAAAAKE!

[Liquid grabs a microphone from a ref and shoves him away.]

[He paces the ring, scowling and sneering]

I see the scum of the world is out in force tonight!

[He is rewarded with a chorus of boo and shouts of outrage.]

How kind of you to crawl out of your gutters to pay tribute to your superior!

[His accent is exaggerated, because British people are terrible and you hate them so much.]

[He gives a dramatic toss to his luxurious mane of hair.]

Surely that must be why you're here.

[Then sweeps out his arms and shouts]

I DON'T SEE ANY MEN HERE TO GIVE ME A FIGHT!

[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]

[Liquid waits for it to die down to the perfect hush, in order to wring the maximum drama from the moment.]

Is that all? Is it too much to hope that these pathetic colonies provide one challenger!?

((It is time to throw your hat to the mat and wrestle down. There's room for all varieties of heroes and scumbags; wrestlers, managers, commentators, the buxom ladies in spandex who hang around to no immediate purpose. The only law is terrible, terrible nicknames.))

((I apologize to every British person. Ever.))

[identity profile] notsostealthy.livejournal.com 2011-01-12 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
Kept you waiting, huh?

[Snake steps into the arena, selects a camo with a nice pattern of different shades of blue.]

You think you have what it takes this time?

[identity profile] notsostealthy.livejournal.com 2011-01-12 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
We'll see about that, Liquid.

[Too cool to acknowledge the audience's cheers, he falls into an offensive stance.]

Items on or off?

[identity profile] notsostealthy.livejournal.com 2011-01-13 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
Heh.

[Snake just walks over and picks up said chair before smashing it across Liquid's back.]

[The audience seems to approve.]