FissionMailed

[The building is sentient.

The building is sentient, and has a well-developed sense of schadenfreude, because there is no other reason why Mantis would still be going into friggin' rooms!

At least this one seems harmless enough, except for that text that appeared on the wall when Mantis came in. He floats over to read--]

Oh fuck no.

[The wall says:]

TWM seeking friendship. Tall, slim, with striking looks. Enjoys coffee, intelligent conversation, classical music, and moonlight strolls in the rain. No Ocelots.

[This room will generate a blatantly false flattering personal ad for whoever comes in. Pre-Valentine's Day dating service, anyone? :D]

((I miss you guys ♥

...WHY IS THERE A SEX ROOM STARTED BY THE END AND WHY ARE GS AND SPOOKY IN THE DESCRIPTION))

[Why Mantis enters rooms, ever, he doesn't know. At least this time when he crashes to the ground, he rolls gracefully and stands up again.

Right in front of a handy mirror.]

Oh fuck me.

[[In the fine tradition of the literary names room, we have the television/movie names room. If you share a name with a character give or take a repeated letter, you are now them. Equivalent names in other languages are good.]]

[It's not his fault that he wandered into the inviting-looking room. There was coffee.

So, he's splayed out in an overstuffed armchair in a corner, drinking his (only mildly terrible) coffee, grumpily ignoring his sudden urge to save the world or some shit.

Or make a sign warning people about the room.

Mantis starts psychokinetically shuffling through the bookshelves and cushions and whatnot, looking for a pen.]

((Have a Room of Opposite Alignment! Go inside, and your alignment will flip completely--Lawful becomes Chaotic, Good becomes Evil, and Neutral wonders why the hell everyone's acting funny. Online alignment test is here, and an explanation of alignment is here.

Of course, some may find the room's effects aren't limited to D&D alignment...))

[Oh, look, the coffee room came back!

Mantis...didn't quite make it there.

His body is lying in the hallway next to the door, Spooky's raincoat and his shirt pushed up just enough to reveal a "12" scratched into his lower back. His right hand is missing.

There is a supremely pissed-off ghost who has already had ghost lessons wandering around, protecting his body coffee body.]

[Look, a chance to see that rare creature--a somewhat content (Love Interest) Mantis! He's found himself a massive outdoor concert hall, an orchestra warming up on stage. Out on the lawn seats, with a blanket and a special someone and the stars twinkling in the sky, it could be really quite romantic.

Mantis is sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair under the canopy, muttering about acoustics.

And the program starts. Go be romantic with someone who is not Mantis, for the love of Christ (obvious exception aside).]

Mantis, floating around the halls with a very nice cup of coffee, is about to pass by one door when he does a double-take.]

What the fuck--

[The door is marked with this sign:



...goddammit, now he has to see what's in this room before someone else does. So he enters.

He's stepped onto a stage, containing six chairs and the same logo on the back wall; the rest of the room is filled with chairs for an audience, and cameras pointing straight at him--

It's at this moment that Mantis realizes he's suddenly wearing a jacket and tie over his usual clothes, and that he's holding cue cards. The top one says, "Fucked-Up Clones and the Morons Who Love Them". The door, he's quick to discover, is very much locked, and impervious to ZAPs.

The fortune cookie told Mantis he was hosting a daytime talk show.

The fortune cookie never lies.]

Fuuuuuuck.

((Welcome to The Psycho Mantis Show! Everyone but Mantis can enter and exit the room at will. Come in if you want to work out your problems with the help of a sympathetic ear utter asshole and a lot of easily-throwable chairs. And don't forget the sassy audience members and security!))

[Mantis and Spooky are leaving the karaoke room, and not just because of the hideous approximation of music; Spooky, having just realized that everyone else who died got to come back corporeally, is in a bad state. Mantis is, uncharacteristically, trying to be comforting.]

Right, to the roof. You can make all the dramatic bloody rain and lightning you want.

[Mantis isn't very good at being comforting.]

[They float up the many, many, floors towards the roof, and...right. His room's on the way.

Well, no one will see him attempting to be...nice if they have some privacy.

Mantis gets to work telekinetically disabling the traps on his door.]

((Locked to a_sign_of_rain.))

[Mantis is standing well away from the door of this room. He is currently none-too-gently PKing all of its inhabitants out into the hallway.]

Out. Now. If you don't want to be set on fire.

[Mantis has been going up. And up. And up. 16-odd floors later, he's found the roof.  And this far away from the roiling masses, his mind is quiet.  It's kind of...nice.]

Hmmm.

[Mantis floats over to the edge of the roof and stares down for a moment, absentmindedly humming something classical. He pulls out a scrap of paper and studies it:



Let him enjoy his peace and quiet?]