Because I don't have enough to do already

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

[The Nexus loudspeakers catch a broadcast as yet another familiar new figure appears in the nexus.]

BIG BOSS HERE.
ENEMY UNIFORMS?
ARE THEY CUTE LITTLE
SAILOR SUITS?
OVER.

[Big Boss chuckles to himself as he ends the call and leans back in his swivel chair. The clone was fun to mess with. This was as easy as watching his hamsters patrol.]

[((Big Boss is chillin' in his office. By the time you respond to him, he'll know about the nexus already. This is intended to be a joke-type Asshole!Big Boss only. Or until I get bored one day and make him deal with drama.))]

Comments

[talkative-loon.livejournal.com]

[You're getting a

from a loon!]

Raiden. The enemy is bzzzztrrrr. I repeat. Zzzzzip is wearing bzzzt. With thongs.

1/2

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

Zzzzzip is wearing bzzzt with thongs?

2/2

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

You might just be on to something; that's a great distraction technique!

[talkative-loon.livejournal.com]

Ssssssssnakes are indigenous to almost all countries of the world. In al-al-almost all terrains, numbering 2,900 different species. Some of these are even edible.

You don't need to distract the enemy, Raiden. Just eliminate. Eliminate the enemy. Follow your orders. You are a-a-a- tool.

[aaaaaaaahh.livejournal.com]

Enemies?! Where?

[Yeah he only heard one part of the message.]

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

BEHIND YOU! RUN NOW!

[aaaaaaaahh.livejournal.com]

AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

[crisiscontrol.livejournal.com]

BIG BOSS!

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

SNAKE!
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
HOW TO USE THE RADIO?
YOU NEED TO SAY "OVER"
WHEN YOU ARE DONE.
...OVER.

[crisiscontrol.livejournal.com]

Yeah, maybe if I was using old technology. Get with the times already.

[neurotic-insect.livejournal.com]

[Como se what now?]

What the hell? [Staring at the ceiling, wondering if he's being screwed with today.]

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

BIG BOSS HE- Wait, you're not Snake. [Only Snakes get the capslock radio messages.]

What do you want, Twiggy?

[neurotic-insect.livejournal.com]

[Eye twitch. How dare you mock his negative body mass index!]

I was walking around. What's this about enemies in sailor suits?

/just because I wanted to throw someone else at him too.

[by-anothername.livejournal.com]

[Rose looks up at the loudspeaker, obviously confused.]

Enemy soldiers?

yaaay

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

[Oh, this one sounds like a pretty girl]

Only if they're wearing sailor suits.

[by-anothername.livejournal.com]

Sailor suits?

[That doesn't make Rose any less confused.]

What are you talking about?

1/3

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[ahem]

2/3

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[tucks his hair back]

3/3

[whyamisobritish.livejournal.com]

[zanzibarhero.livejournal.com]

[HOLY SHIT IT'S BIG BOSS.]

[Snake immediately leaps into action. He grips his weapon and dashes down along the halls.]

[So far, he is greeted with silence... and emptiness.]

I don't... see any enemies, sir.

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

BIG BOSS HERE.
BIG BOSS HERE.
SOLID SNAKE!
OPERATION "INTRUDE N313"
CANCELED.
REPEAT, CANCELED!

[zanzibarhero.livejournal.com]

[The rookie furrows his brow.]

What-?

But I already found Gray Fox! We need to take down Metal Gear, sir.

[Unless Big Boss managed to take it down himself...]

[originalmiller.livejournal.com]

[LOOMS]

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

[Hey, that's a familiar LOOM]

What's that look for?

[originalmiller.livejournal.com]

[Miller casually leans against the door frame, his large arms folded across his chest. He tilts his head a touch; his expression is unreadable at best.]

I know what you're planning, Big Boss.