YOU should come inside the box-- then you'd know what I mean.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

[So, while Boss has her BONDING TIEMZ with her family, Jack decides to do some, uh, recon. This place still freaks him out and he really tries to not get close to any pirates people who are resembling him. Also there's something awfully wrong about checking each and every room in this unknown building. He knows sooner or later he'll maneuver himself into an awkward situation.]

I think I could cope better with this if there was some booze to find, or smokes, or--

...

[That said, he opens a door to a room which is incidentally fully stocked up with MAGAZINES (PORN).]

[Maybe this place isn't so bad afterall.]




((GO BOTHER AND EMBARASS HIM, OR JOIN HIM, WHATEVER))

Comments

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Why should they sound appealing?

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

......

I get it. You're also gay. Like your 'mom'.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Gay? Well, I might be if I had any interest in sex whatsoever, but I think it's kind of useless.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

... How can sex be useless?!

[Total hypocrite since he hasn't had any sex himself yet, lol]

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't have the ability to reproduce, so what's the point?

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

...... Did you ever jerk off?

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

...What?

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

DID YOU EVER TOUCH YOUR FUCKING PENIS BEFORE?

Christ!

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

[Figures out with he means] No, why would I?

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

It does?

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

.........

[cant believe this.]

Yes. YES you should really try it out sometime. Honestly.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Well, if you say so. [STILL SO CONFUSED] What does that have to do with porn though?

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

... Porn helps with that. Touching your penis, I mean...

oh god what the hell.

[foxhoundmantis.livejournal.com]

[MANTIS LOVES YOU]

Welcome to hell.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

[Meet the only teenager in the universe who has no sex drive WHATSOEVER. Aren't you happy, Mantis?]

I don't think this place is so bad. Why do you think it's hell?

[foxhoundmantis.livejournal.com]

Imagine hearing every little thing everyone is thinking. Particularly, say, in this room.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Ugh, that sounds annoying.

Mantis may just speak for himself here.

[foxhoundmantis.livejournal.com]

Annoying? Sure, for the first couple years. Then you start wanting to kill the lot of them just to shut them up.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

I take back my last statement. That is hell.

[foxhoundmantis.livejournal.com]

You have no idea.

So which clone are you? For Christ's sake say it's not Liquid.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

I'm Solidus Snake. Who are you?

[foxhoundmantis.livejournal.com]

Psycho Mantis. And I have two words of advice for you:

1. Instant Messaging is not secure technology.
2. Change your codename. It's moronic.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Nice to meet you. I have no idea what instant messaging is and I can't change my codename. I was assigned it.

[foxhoundmantis.livejournal.com]

Remember to avoid it when you're older. It'll make both our lives suck just a little bit less.

Then tell your superiors it makes no sense.