Because I need to keep the monopoly on Big Bosses.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

[Picture a very, very confused Jack. He may be somewhat pissed too.]

... First she takes all my weapons and porn away and then I wake up in this wacky building, and I can't seem to leave. I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to do in this place. This is not funny anymore, Boss. This is no survival training, this is torture.

Give me my porn back, at least.





((After rookie!Snake, have a rookie!Big Boss. He's around 20 and is currently training with the Boss. And he's a dork, be forewarned.))

Comments

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Um, this isn't survival training in the first place. Everybody's stuck here.

1/2

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

W-WHAT THE HELL. She said nothing about this! Identify yourself!

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Said nothing about what? I'm Solidus Snake. Who're you?

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

Doppelgangers!

You tell me first. You're the one looking like me. This must be a trick. I'm not falling for it.

[CQC stance!]

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

I have two older brothers who are identical to me. What's so strange about it?

Like I said, I'm Solidus Snake. I was born to be the perfect clone of Big Boss. So, will you tell me now?

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

.....

[Doesn't understand ANYTHING.]

Who's Big Boss? I never heard of anyone called Big Boss! You must have lost your mind or something. Yeah, that's probably it.

If you're so inclined to know, my name's John. I'm with the US Special Forces.

[Would keep his gun trained on him IF HE HAD ONE]

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

[Pauses for a second and just STARES]

Everybody knows about Big Boss. He's one of the greatest soldiers of the 20th century. [Looks annoyed] I haven't lost my mind! Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's true.

[And with the name and looks, it all clicks together] ...It can't be.

lol wut

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

Are you an idiot!? The greatest living soldier is called THE BOSS, not 'Big' Boss. Get that right, god, learn to read maybe.

..what.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

No, no, Big Boss defeated the Boss and was given his title. At least, that's what Mom said.

...you're Big Boss. Well, you will be. It's why we look so much alike.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

.... Oh god, are there only crazies in this place? I don't know what you're babbling about, but you're not making any sense. Why would I want to DEFEAT the Boss!?

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

I told you I'm not crazy. Anyways, Mom said you had to defeat her because she supposedly defected to the Soviet Union.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

.........

WHAT?! Bullshit! There is no person more loyal to her country than the Boss!

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Hey, I said supposedly! Mom said I wasn't old enough to understand it all yet, so I don't know the whole story.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

Even supposedly! That's ridiculous. I can't stand people badmouthing her!

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Why would I badmouth my grandmother? You and Mom always thought highly of her.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

.....

What.

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Well, she's not my grandmother by blood. Mom's her son.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

...
...
...

Mom's her son?

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

[SEES NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS] Yeah, my mom's a guy. It's not like I can have two dads.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

Oooooookay.

[Brain is broken now.]

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

Hm? What's wrong? [Oblivious Solidus is oblivious]

[silverrevolver.livejournal.com]

[Walks in and has a good *facepalm*]

[secretjailbait.livejournal.com]

[How can Solidus embarrass you further? Well, run up to you and give you a hug! Which is exactly what he does.]

Mom!

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

ajshdjksdf,asdhksjdfsdfg.dgh.

Ew!