Because I need to keep the monopoly on Big Bosses.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

[Picture a very, very confused Jack. He may be somewhat pissed too.]

... First she takes all my weapons and porn away and then I wake up in this wacky building, and I can't seem to leave. I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to do in this place. This is not funny anymore, Boss. This is no survival training, this is torture.

Give me my porn back, at least.





((After rookie!Snake, have a rookie!Big Boss. He's around 20 and is currently training with the Boss. And he's a dork, be forewarned.))

Comments

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't know about her sca--

[ASDSHGHDGKDF!!]

[Have a CQC push, Ocelot.]

What the hell!

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

Oh come on! You obviously haven't been laid in.... ever.

And I could use some. [ smile ]

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

[Graah, he's right!]

Cut it out, weirdo! I'm not into men! And even if I was, I certainly wouldn't hop into YOUR bed!

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

Ohh. This is before you realize you like men. Okay. I got it.

...

[urge to not tamper.... FAILING]

Hm. If not my bed,then whose?

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

W-what!??

That's none of your fucking business!

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

Aw come on. Settle down, John.

You can tell me [smiiiiile]

[eatenbykarma.livejournal.com]

{A hand is on Ocelot's shoulder, suddenly. A very firm grip.]

Is there a problem, here?

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

... Boss- I mean.

Mother. There's no problem here.


[finds it difficult to be surprised by things anymore]

[eatenbykarma.livejournal.com]

Thank you for that correction.

[She glances between the two of them]
Why is the young one flustered? Saying something uncouth to him?

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

I'm only hitting on him. Dad was trying to hook me up with this one girl but uh...

We both know it doesn't work like that.

And come on. Look at him. He's my age any everything.

Even if he's a little dumb

[eatenbykarma.livejournal.com]

...Quite. I didn't expect you to be so candid-- no, wait. Perhaps I did.

[She frowns slightly, and shakes her head]
I should believe that there are plenty from around your own time to choose from- meaning, older Jack's who know you. Don't be greedy.

This one is mine even if he's slightly dense. Understood?

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

[ huffffff]

Get with it, mom. All the older Big Bosses are with these scrawny nerd boys or his own son(s). BESIDES!

HEY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOURS? Aren't you married to dad?!

[eatenbykarma.livejournal.com]

Get with it?
Besides, I highly doubt that. He seemed awfully fond of you, from what I've heard in reports back in Russia. There's got to be one that enjoys your company. Besides, your scaring my rookie- especially if he doesn't consider himself to be homosexual.

...It was not intended to be taken like that.
And for the record... no. Your father and I never married. We weren't permitted.

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

Ah. No shotgun wedding?

Oh well. Ah- I'll go find another John. Virgins aren't that great anyway.

[eatenbykarma.livejournal.com]

No. It was too risky. And we were away from each other for too long. It's difficult to maintain a relationship with one being in Russia while the other works in America.

..You do that, Adam.

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

Thanks mom. Oh yeah. In case you were wondering my childhood was awful. I was raised by Philospher handlers until I ran away at five. They thought I wouldn't because there was only snow for miles. Even thought the place was terrible and I was beaten often.

I made it through a couple miles and then I collapsed. Volgin found me in the snow and raised me. Also I have weird scars that I'm wholly blaming my birth for.

[/drive by guilting]

[eatenbykarma.livejournal.com]

[There's no emotion that runs across her face at first-- but she suddenly looks very, very tired, and worn.]

You think that I don't know? You think that I wasn't told what they did to you? [She takes a step towards him, threateningly-- she's not mad at him, just the circumstances, but it doesn't seem like it on the outside]

They'd send me updates every 6 months. They'd show me the scars, the results of their beatings. They'd show me how badly they were treating you--
[Her hands ball up into fists]
They would have killed you if I didn't continue on with my missions for them.

[Turns away. She has to, before she does something she'll regret.]
..I tried to save you. And they caught me.
Guess what my punishment was, if you can.

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

[ oh. ]

[goes to hug Boss] ... I'm sorry, Mom.

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

[is quietly watching and listening and, wtf.]

[eatenbykarma.livejournal.com]

...Jack.

[Damnit.]

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

.. I understand. I, uh, should probably get going. I bet you two have a lot to talk about.

[And there he goes.]

[eatenbykarma.livejournal.com]

[She turns back to him-- and her face softens.]

It's not your fault.

...
[She suddenly pulls him into a tight hug]

I.. should apologize to you.

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

Mom- [huuuug] [BAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW]

[bosstookmyporn.livejournal.com]

......

[facepalm]

[revolver-kitty.livejournal.com]

It's not so bad, baby.