fissionmailed | Some cats like water

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Some cats like water

[Living an honest lifestyle had its downfalls, this old Ocelot was starting to see. Having lied his way through the majority of his life was comfortable enough for him, but now that he had jeprodized two important relationships from being honest and truthful, he was finding it incredibly hard to see the hype. At least when he worked as a triple agent, he managed to gain trust easier and almost always got his way. It was easier to lie. He never imagined that being truthful and not hiding the past would be painful.

Rather than looking for someone to fight to rid the flurry of emotions inside, Ocelot had made his way out into the cruise room. He was standing on the deck of his boat, hands braced on the railings. Being out in the open with the sea wind wipping about his hair made him forget momentarily just how alone he felt in this world.

However, part of him knows that he won't be alone for very long. Entering a room like this usually attracted attention, so he has set up a buffet on the lower deck, along with a bar for cocktails and some lawn chairs were sprawled out should any female company decide to get a tan under the sun.]

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[Adam clutched the railing of the boat when he heard Solidus cough. He turned very briefly to acknowledge him.]

I wasn't expecting to see you.

I was looking for you.

[Walking over to him, he stands beside him, looking thoughtful.]

I see.

[He can't bring himself to look at George.]

[If he had looked, he might have noticed that George seems a lot calmer than he did the last time Adam saw him. It appears he's made a decision, for better or worse. He lifts a hand to grasp Adam's shoulder firmly and leans over to whisper in his ear.]

I can forgive you.

[Adam glances down at that hand, and reluctantly turns his head at an angle to meet George's gaze. His own expression remains stoic and controlled.]

How? I used you.

I spent the best part of last night in a depressed haze. Father and Liquid helped bring me out of it.

[He sighs, running a hand through his hair, which is a little messier than normal.]

It's hard to think about. The fact that you're one of the people I've been fighting against is hard to get my head around as well. But the fact remains that you're important to me. And what happened outside of this place doesn't matter. Father's right about that, even if he's a hypocrite who won't forgive himself.

[His eyes never leave Adam's. They're open and honest, albeit rather tired. The encounter with evil Raiden didn't help with that, much. He's a little in pain and he really should be trying to get some sleep, but he can't, somehow. He needed to talk to Adam too much.]

Liquid told me that we have to just live out the time we have left as best we can. He's right. None of us are saints, and I knew full well when I got into this that there were things you'd done that you thought were too bad for me to handle.

I know you had your reasons. I'm willing to hear your side of things, if you want to tell me. If you don't, that's fine too. Just know that I want to work through this. I'm willing to try, if you are as well.

[That little speech left him a little drained, so he falls silent.]

John will never forgive himself, even if what happened was technically out of his hands. One conversation will not pull him out of his blaming toll.

I've been trying to convince him otherwise for fifty years. Trust me; it is pointless to try to convince him otherwise.

As for me...

[Adam closed his eyes for a few moments.]

I need a drink. Then I will tell you my reasons. Take a seat.

[He nods slowly, going to sit down. It's a relief to be sitting right now. He has a feeling he's going to need to be sitting when he hears this.]

Alright.

[Adam wanders over to the bar, removing his coat in the process. He pours himself a straight-up glass of vodka with a slice of lime on the edge. Taking a sip, he motions towards George and seats himself in a chair, flexing his legs out.]

Participating in Mission Snake Eater had given me a life long purpose, something I never thought would happen to me. I had been assigned the task of assisting John throughout that mission. From that day on, I remained a loyal subject to your father. More than EVA was. I adored him, and eventually came to love him. He was my idol... He still is.

I embraced his flaws, I understood his way of thinking, of being. We joined The Patriots together, hoping to unite The Boss' dream; my mother, and his idol. To unite the world without borders, and diminish the fruitless war that humanity strives so hard to create. One nation.

But... When The Patriots decided to clone him, I stood by your father. I had come to hate what they had done to him. I had never seen that side of John before... Fueled by anger and loathing.

[He closed his eyes, breathing slowly.] _{It was devistatingly beautiful.}

I remained by his side, doing all I could to remain loyal to him, even as I continued to work alongside The Patriots as a double agent. However, matters became complicated when Solid Snake fought him in Zanzibarland. Zero longed to keep Big Boss alive even after he was burned, but he was deluded. He had no control, no logical mindset into what he had turned into. A control freak, obsessed beyond the point of reasoning.

EVA and I constructed a plan in order to retrieve John from Zero, which meant I had to remain with The Patriots to make them believe I still remained on their side. Having that tie meant I could free your father from Zero's grasp. From that point on...

[He flashes George a slow smile.] That was when I met you.

Yes, I admit that using you had its advantages. Keep in mind that I was merely pretending to be part of The Patriots, you were created to maintain a perfected image of Big Boss. If I had stepped in to say something, they would have been suspicious and any plans of retrieving Big Boss would have been destroyed.

Your DNA was required to disable the SOP system and preventing The Patriots from functioning. For a split moment in time, it effectively created world peace... uniting the world as one.

Big Boss needed to continue to live on in order for him to finally end his fued with Zero. As he had been burned, the only match for his blood, DNA and similar body shape was between you and Liquid. I would like to add that EVA decided to use your bodies... I had no say in the matter.

Solid was destined to remain alive, and kill EVA, myself and Big Boss in the process, once he had been given his final word... Because the world only needs one Snake.

[He takes a few large gulps of his drink. He licks his now wet lips.] Everything I did was effectively for your father. When you go through a hellish life as we had done together, seen the good and bad, a bond forms that is unbreakable. It is rare to meet someone that you would do anything and everything for.

[He sits in silence for a few moments after that, letting it sink in. It's a lot to take in, but he can feel the passion in Adam's words. The love when he talks about Big Boss. He feels calmer, somehow.]

...I understand.

[He leans forward, looking straight into Ocelot's eyes.]

I finally understand now. I don't blame you, Adam.

[Ocelot reached out, taking hold of Solidus' hand. He squeezed it tightly, meeting that single eye. His pupils darted back and fourth; it felt good to get his point of view across.]

Do you know... how long I have waited to let that out?

So many years of lying, hiding behind veils. It feels so good to confess the truth.

_{I am truly sorry for what has happened. To all of us.}

[He squeezes the hand back, looking relieved.]

It's alright. It's in the past, Adam, and I told you I don't blame you. Zero, on the other hand... if I ever meet him, he's dead. And I'm not happy with EVA either.

[He gives him a slight smile.]

[Well... He had forgiven EVA for carrying the twins, considering how much he liked David but he may have been a little harsh considering how bitter he was about her and Big Boss forming a relationship. Something he had to find out about by seeing them together. John hadn't even told him upright.]

_{If you are certain.}

[He was finding it progressively harder to hide his pain, so he simply squeezed George's hand with his fingers.]

[He squeezes them back, looking worried. Of all things, George did not want to upset him.]

Are you alright, Adam?

_{Yes. Of course.}

[Wordlessly, Adam moved from his seat and sunk down on George's lap, curling against him and just hugged him as tight as he could. He burried his face into his neck, inhaling his scent.]

[Wrapping his arms around the man, he holds him as close as he can. One of his hands soothingly rubs the other man's back firmly. He isn't tense like before; in fact, he seems much more relaxed. He doesn't speak. All he does is hold the man close, pressing a brief kiss against Adam's hair.]

_{Even if you can't promise me that something more can happen to us, let me at least have this moment.}

[His voice was barely a whisper.]

...I'm not leaving you, Adam. Not even over this.

[He whispers the words into Adam's ear, softly.]

.....

_What?

...

Unless... you want me... to go?

[He sounds hesitant.]

I don't want to lose you.

[His grip tightened on George.]

_{I don't want you to go. I simply am finding it hard to believe that anyone would willingly want to remain by my side.}

[His own arms tightened possessively around Ocelot.]

It may be hard to believe, but I don't want to go. I enjoy being with you.

_{As I enjoy being with you. I would not have exploited my past to you if I didn't.}

[He sighed out a moan of relief, his fingers curling tightly into the fabric of George's shirt.]

[He presses another soft kiss to Adam's head, relieved to hear that.]

I told you I wanted to work through this. I wasn't lying. You are important to me.

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TL;DR I AM SO SORRY

OH GOD. WOW. BUT IT'S ALRIGHT. HAVE A TINY COMMENT IN RESPONSE.

LOL THANK YOU 8'D

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