were you born to resist or be abused

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

[The only thing more legendary than Liquid's ego or his reputation was his paranoia. It had only gotten worse since the FOXHOUND betrayal at Shadow Moses. Since that--or perhaps because of it--he had developed a near sixth sense for trouble brewing.]

[The operative in the SEAL uniform didn't know exactly what was going on, but all was not well in this insane little building.]

[...and somehow, he actually found that rather exciting. He was a bit lost without something to do for Philanthropy, after all. Regardless, if something was going to happen they would need to be prepared.]

[Liquid was sitting in the library, flipping idly through a copy of Titus Andronicus.The soldier debated over whether to call Otacon now or wait until he could have some evidence with these suspicions. Acting on vague impulse had gotten him into trouble far too many times in the past.]

((ooc: Looking for reichenbackup, open to all. <3 Paranoid Plisquid is paranoid.))

Comments

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

...There's something you're not telling me. What happened--rather, what's going to happen?

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

Who knows. [sighs and leans back in his chair, looking at the ceiling] You're going to change things, aren't you?

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

Of course I am. But I'd need to know what I'm going to change. I already know when I'm supposedly going to die--though I hate to tempt fate with these words, how much worse can it get?

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

....

[whispered with quiet honesty] I don't like talking about it.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

[Liquid hesitated; he didn't want to push it, but...if whatever it was upset him so much, Liquid would have to know in order to stop it from happening.]

I want to change our future--construct something like the idyllic world you want so badly. It'll never be perfect, but...I have to try.

...please, Hal. Tell me so I can prevent it.

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

Idyllic world? [snorts] I'm there. I have nothing to champion against, no agent to monitor on dangerous missions, and my daughter is relatively safe. The world's fine. [smoky exhale]

[soft again] It's not for you to fix. I did it. It's my burden and... lapse of strength.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

[He was starting to get annoyed--this was nothing like Hal whatsoever, and it was frustrating. Ignoring most of his words for the moment, Liquid focused on the last part.]

Shut up. If someone's going to hurt my Otacon, I should damn well expect it to be my bloody problem! I will not just stand by and wait for someone I love to be put through hell!

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

You're an idiot. [rubs his face tiredly]

I hurt Snake. And that hurt me, because... because it does. [looks somewhat shaken at the memory] No one set out to hurt me. I just hurt everyone else. It's something I'm used to.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

You're the bloody idiot here, Hal.

[...so did that mean he'd end up hurting Liquid? That was unsettling--Otacon was the only living person with such power over him. If he hurt Liquid...then it would be pain worse than any he'd ever felt.]

I can stop it from happening. I will stop it, if you just talk to me. Damn it...don't make me start begging you to tell me, Hal.

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

You think you can, huh? [sits up] You want to change it for certain? Then teach your Hal to close up and not care. Then make it so he doesn't love people like he does and make sure he doesn't feel compassion for those who need him.

[glares at Liquid for a long moment before looking away again] You can't do this. You have to actually live your life, not keep trying to rig it to get the results you want.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

[Why,why, why did he have to be so goddamned stubborn?]

I will not tell him to do that. I've done it myself for far too long, and such a mentality is...painful.

[snaps] I'll live my life however the hell I want, and I intend to make it one worth living!

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

[stands up and stretches, popping his sore back] You can't have it both ways. You want to live? Then live. You want to make sure you and Hal never deal with what Snake and I did? Then manipulate everything so it goes how you want. Is that you're plan?

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

. . .

...all I want is for him to be happy. That's it, plain and simple.

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

Then just be there for him. D-don't- [stops, breathes, tries again] Don't withdraw, when things get bad. Don't pull away, even if you think it's for the best. It just makes things worse.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

...I wouldn't. No matter what happens, I will never abandon him.

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

Well, that's what I thought about Snake. [shucks his hands into his pockets, not looking at Liquid, feeling somewhat delicate] Things change.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

I am not my brother, no matter whose position I'm in from your perspective.

[Hesitantly, he leaned over and put a hand on Hal's shoulder.] I need him. Desperately. I'll never leave the only person that thinks I'm worth something.

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

For your Hal's sake, I hope you're right.

[flinches slightly] I understand. I don't think you'll change anything. I really don't.

But I hope I'm wrong.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

[Even that slight flinch was like a slap to the face,and Liquid crossed his arms while trying to hide how much it bothered him.]

...I know it's not likely. But I don't give up, Hal. Even if it's impossible, I'll try as hard as I can to change things at any cost.

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

[he explains quietly, something he hasn't admitted to anyone else] I don't like... being touched without warning. It just startles me.

Well. Good luck with that.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

[And it was right about then that Liquid said something that almost no one ever heard from him.] ...I'm sorry.

Thanks...I simply hope my efforts won't be wasted.

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

It's fine. Just... warn me.

Me too. [pats Liquid's shoulder] But if you ask me about what happened on the Nomad again, I'll punch you.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

Fine.

...alright. If you're going to insist...I'll deal with it when it occurs.

[justhalnow.livejournal.com]

[smirks and blows smoke in Liquid's face before stepping away] You'll do fine. Remember, keep your battles out of my library.

[liquidouroboros.livejournal.com]

. . . [waves his hand to get rid of the smoke] For the love of--I'm trying to quit, knock that off.