AKHLAKSFJALKA

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[This post is typed painstakingly slow, on account of F.X. only having one hand to type with.]

[F.X. enters his and endlesswarfare's 4th floor "office" with the bloody stump of his right arm covered in his suit jacket.

Something has gone wrong.]

Vermon! Vermon, I need-- heck with it. John! WE HAVE A SITUATION.




[ooc: For endlesswarfare, obviously. Do not interfere.]

Comments

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

WHAT?!

...

[He just now spots the arm.]

Oh well. Got into trouble?

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[Bawww, is a civilian, BB, don't expect him to handle this like your normal Ocelot.]

'Trouble'?! This is insane! I thought he was your protege!

[Clutches hard at the covered arm, plopping down onto a couch.]

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[Is...totally uninterested since he thinks you can just retcon the arm back anyway. Whatever he's currently working on has his full attention.]

I don't have any proteges.

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

Well, whatever Gray Fox is in your timeline. In my notes he's supposed to be a MacGuffin. I don't know what's going on!

[Can read those brackets.]

I couldn't stop him, John. And I couldn't reverse it. He was outside of my control!

[Owwwww. ;A;]

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

Gray Fox is immune to retcons for the most part. At least at this age. You'd know if you had bothered to read the original script.

[CONTINUES WORKING, NOT LISTENING TO YOUR WHINING also brb enabling my anti-bracket-reading nanos.]

But you still have one functioning arm, yes? So I see no problem.

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[WHY ARE YOU NOT MORE ATTENTIVE TO MY NEEDS.]

You know I covered my eyes when I got to all the really bad scenes! Oh, goodness...

[Starts to swoon. Pulls the jacket off and searches for something better to, to tourniquet with or something. Isn't Big Boss the one with the knowledge of field medicine here?]

But there are two of them here, plus at least one younger one. And all of them are active. This is throwing a wrench right in the gears of everything we planned.

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[He is -- he's just not particularly interested in your wellbeing. You're still not HIS Ocelot and you can't read this.]

I may have to remind you that you planned most of this yourself. Half of the retcons I wasn't even informed about.

[A sour glance at his case of cigars :'(]

In-character actions require in-character consequences.

But...I suppose I could kill them if you retcon death to be permanent.

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[Why does he always go for the stoic uncaring type, why.]

I was under the understanding that I had full moderation privileges! None of this would happen if I'd been able to ban Fox before he even drew his weapon!

[Realizes belatedly he can just retcon himself with full medical knowledge-- and does so.]



[Also, handwaves the timelapse. Tada, neatly bandaged and with a local anesthetic in effect. Though he still shudders at John's suggestion.]

No... No death, it just won't go over with the publishers. It'd be better if we could just edit them out, work the game around them somehow. Really, we need to trim the character list anyway.

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

Ever thought about switching publishers, hmm?

I see. What are your suggestions? [HELLO HE SOUNDS VERY TIRED AND ANNOYED ALREADY.]

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

They're the ones dealing with Nintendo, not me.

Well. [Shifts. Baww, why does he always feel like he's imposing?] It's easy enough for you to remove people from the Nexus, isn't it? I... suppose if it's too much of a project we don't have to consider it...

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

I can remove certain people, yes. Not all.

If you're aiming to remove everyone that isn't part of your canon, this will be a very empty place.

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

There are a lot of absentee names. Don't deny it. I'm happy to work with the characters we have, it's simply that--

[Pouts, flopping onto his back on the sofa.]

This is what I get for being too nice to people. No more. Beginning tomorrow, I treat the people here how I'd treat any of the ghost writers on my staff back at home.

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[He glances over mildly curious.]

Which is how?

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

Consistency, Vermon. Total consistency.

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[Quirks a brow.]

You do that.

And see to it that you get a new arm. I think I still have some spares in the basement.

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

...Ew. [Sigh.] Alright.

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

Something wrong with prosthetic snatcher limbs??

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

--Oh, prosthetics. Okay. Although that's kind of scary and villainous...

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

Well, you are a villain in most people's eyes.

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

Someday everyone'll look back on this and agree I fixed an awful situation. They may even adopt my writing as the true canon, you never know. With these people, tough love is necessary, that's just the fact of it.

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

Mmh-hmm.

[He's not even listening anymore 8D]

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[annoyed,] Don't you think so, Vermon?

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[Annoyed right back] Yes. Sure.

Now don't you see I am busy?

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

Just what are you working on? You told me your agenda was clear for the foreseeable.

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

That's none of your business.

[He's secretly writing fanfics of Eve Arre and Adam Scar or something.]

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[What, together?]

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[Yeah, solving murder mysteries before having a threesome with him.]

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[Oh BB, y so classy.]

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[Shut up, he writes more exciting stories than you do. With cake in it.]

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[...You're disgusting.]

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[Get your mind out of the gutter.]

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[There is no way you mean actual cake.]

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH FUDGE FROSTING AND ICING INSIDE]

[f-x-nine.livejournal.com]

[...You have weird fetishes.]

[endlesswarfare.livejournal.com]

[As do you, Mr. 170 pounds of pure panther power.]