http://needs-socks.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] needs-socks.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fissionmailed2011-04-10 03:06 pm
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Q&A Session

[Oddly enough, part of the Nexus seems to have morphed into stone walls and wooden doors more befitting of a castle than a Nexus building. Those who investigate the change might discover a cantankerous old gnome of a man sitting in one of those rooms.]

[The Magician of Information, Good Magician Humfrey, is not at all pleased to have been summoned away from his castle in Xanth. Now he's stuck in a drearily Mundane world, and will doubtlessly be pestered with Questions now that his challenges have been dismantled.]

[Maybe he'll be able to re-use some older ones...]

[((Humfrey knows the Answer to any Question someone might have, but he might charge a service for answering it or put pun-related challenges in the way of inquiring minds...))]

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 08:39 am (UTC)(link)
Information is an effective weapon.

[Liquid will judge your world on the quality of your teas, and god help you if you are found lacking.]

[He has no idea what the gnome is talking about until he opens the cupboard and finds exactly what he described.]

Your world is ridiculous, you know that.

[Even as he picks two cups that look fully-formed.]

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[Liquid looks at the box and facepalms]

Do you have any varieties that aren't terrible puns?

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[Liquid sips warily. After the stranger, of course. Just because someone has no reason to point you doesn't mean they won't.]

[To his surprise, it's rather good.]

[Liquid finds himself relaxing a little.]

Hm. Not bad. At least your mad world has decent tea.

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
They're mind-altering?

[resignedly accusatory] There's a variety to go with every noun that ends in -ty, isn't there.

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Opposite sex? [Liquid huffs something like a laugh.] Your world has certain assumptions coded into the rules of its physics.

["summon the stork" is an interesting euphemism.]

How reassuring. [Yet he can't quite get properly annoyed about it right now.]

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[Liquid pauses and looks over his tea, examining the odd little man's face.]

[expressionless] Gender is a limiting factor.

But species is not.

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
You are from a terrifying country.

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Ghosts aren't nearly so disturbing as bestiality.

[pauses as he sips his tea] Do you know, that's one thing I've never been called before.

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
How can something have half of a soul?

It sounds like a warped and rather perverted sort of haphazard genetic engineering.

[Liquid leans back thoughtfully in the chair. It's quite comfortable, and he's in a calmer than usual mood.]

Depending on how long and what sort of magic talent, that could make for a useful tactical advantage.

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-17 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Hah. That sounds nearly familiar. I was born by science, not magic. My brother got the soul, while I was given the leftovers.

[sips at the tea] That's an interesting way of pronunciation.

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-18 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
That easy to tell, is it. [Liquid is clearly humouring him.] Whose did I steal, then?

[He lolls back in the chair, relaxed and unable to muster the will to fight it] Different men attach the name demon to different things. I've been called one myself. [He takes a certain pride in that.]

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-18 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
It must be a lovely household.

If there is even any such thing as a soul, I certainly can't lay claim to one. I was created in a laboratory from carefully cultivated materials. I am synthetic. I'm a weapon in the shape of a man, nothing more.

[He waves his hand] Fine, fine. Do they write it for you?

[identity profile] whyamisobritish.livejournal.com 2011-04-18 08:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Another similarity. [grin] So can I.

Naturally, your magic extends to spelling.

[Liquid is silent for a moment.]

[Then he laughs aloud]

A golem! What an excellent word for it. I'd never thought of that one. Yes, I was made with a word written on my forehead: hate.