fissionmailed | //what purpose am i to fulfill

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liquidouroboros

//what purpose am i to fulfill

[There was no reason for him to be so attracted to that one certain door--it just seemed irresistible. As if he would never be able to get by without knowing what was past it. Despite realizing the ones that seemed the best would inevitably just be luring in victims, the uniformed soldier stepped closer. His hand rested on the doorknob for a moment, all logic screaming that he should turn away and forget it...but impulse won out in the end as it so often did when Liquid was involved.]

[And once he walked in, Liquid found himself playing out an unfamiliar scenario.]

Damn.

[Liquid scowled, slamming another clip of ammunition into his Beretta before pulling a USP from its holster with his other hand. How many soldiers could one offshore facility possibly hold?! The hallway was flooded with Gurlukovich soldiers at both ends, being held off by nothing more than Liquid's skill with a handgun. Or two, in this case.]

We're in trouble. [At his side, Otacon muttered those words in a nervous tone--laptop held to his chest like it was his lifeline.]

Not until I say we are. Stop talking and stay close.

[This was not good. Even if Liquid didn't have to worry about keeping Otacon out of the direct line of fire, this would be difficult. Of course he could handle these soldiers...but he was running out of ammunition, and fast.]

[Before he could think of any alternative to standing and fighting, there was the click of a pin being pulled and the clattering sound of a grenade dropping at their feet.]

[He didn't even have time to take note of Otacon's startled gasp. Liquid's foot struck the grenade with full force--it was halfway back in the direction it came from when it went off, sending smoke and debris in every direction.]

[That was when he started firing at everything in a balaclava, silently hoping they'd run out of reinforcements before he ran out of bullets. Otacon was close, thankfully--close enough that Liquid felt the engineer trembling. Any other fight, the soldier might have been throwing confident taunts to his enemy and grinning coldly at the sudden bloodlust that overtook him in combat...not today. Today he was outnumbered and definitely outgunned.]

[The Beretta ran out of ammunition first, and once Liquid holstered it he came up with a grenade of his own in one swift motion--pulling the pin with his teeth, he threw it in one direction and emptied the USP in the other.]

[Liquid turned, last of his bullets directed at the few standing soldiers he could see. There was another explosion and cloud of smoke behind him, shaking the entire hallway--then silence. The realization that they'd survived rushed through Liquid much like the adrenaline of a combat high, and a quiet, relieved laugh escaped him.]

I told you, Otacon. I'm the perfect soldi--

[In his arrogance, he'd made an amateur mistake--he'd turned his back before confirming the grenade had killed everyone. Liquid's confident assurance was interrupted by the sound of two shots followed by a choked gasp of pain.]

[His M4 was out in a second--it was the only gun he had with any ammunition left--and fired in the direction the shots had come from The three remaining soldiers--already injured by Liquid's grenade--fell all too easily. But surely he'd heard wrong, surely neither of them were injured, oh god was that Otacon slumped against a wall and bleeding]

Otacon--?! [Liquid dropped the rifle, immediately dropping to his knees next to the engineer and rummaging through his inventory for something, anything that would stop the bleeding. There were clear bullet wounds in his chest and shoulder, but he wasn't...he couldn't have...]

[...why wasn't he answering?]

...Hal? [Liquid cautiously put an arm around Otacon's shoulders and pulled him closer, other hand checking for a pulse--nothing. There was blood soaking his labcoat and Liquid's uniform...and he didn't have a pulse.]

[Welcome to your nightmares/worst fears. No, really. No matter what it might be, this room is where you'll live through it. Other people can see what you're experiencing as well, so have fun with that.]

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I am.

[His gaze is also drawn to his alternate and the other Jack. Almost unconsciously, he wraps an arm around this Jack's waist, holding him protectively.]

Why don't I take you home? You should have some rest.

[He nods, moving closer to Vamp in return and placing his hand on his back.]

Good idea...

[Not that he really wanted to sleep right now... not with those images fresh in his mind again.]

[He starts with him down the hall, keeping an eye out for anyone who could be trouble. Luckily, they don't pass by anyone like that and make it back to the room without incident.]

Here.

[Vamp unlocks and opens the door, leading Jack inside.]

[Once inside, he sits on the edge of the bed and just... holds his head in his hands. Really, it was tough to stay composed after that. Those were things he'd done his best to forget, and now it was all fresh in his mind again.]

[He closes and locks the door behind them, watching Jack on the bed. Walking over, he takes a seat next to him.]

If you wanted to discuss anything...

No... no, I'll be fine... I guess it's my fault for walking into the room...

It's best to be more careful, but it isn't your fault. You don't deserve that.

[He rests his chin on Jack's shoulder, rubbing a hand over his back.]

I guess I never really have been very good at controlling myself...

[Not when there was temptation involved, anyway. That door had just seemed so inviting... and though he'd realized that was probably a bad thing, he should have fought harder to walk away. He leans into Vamp, feeling thoroughly depressed.]

Mm. I think we have something in common.

[Quite a few somethings, actually. He saw himself in Jack's memories far more than he would like...]

[That thought in mind, he slips behind Jack, hands reaching up to massage his shoulders.]

[He grunts in response, still lost in his thoughts. He initially tenses up at the hands on him, but gradually starts to relax again. He leans his head forward, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate on the massage instead.]

[His fingers skilfully knead tense muscles while he leans to press his lips lightly over the still visible marks he'd left on Jack's neck during their night together.]

[The gesture calms him a little more, and he reaches a hand up to brush his fingers through a few strands of loose hair.]

Dunno what I'd do without you.

[He has a slight smile on his face; it meant a lot to him that he didn't have to be alone with his thoughts right now.]

Fortunate you don't have to think about it, hm?

[He's glad he can be a positive distraction, and keeps up the massage, wanting to continue to do so. It makes him feel useful, knowing that he can provide him with an emotional crutch as well as physical pleasure.]

Is that a promise?

[Normally, he knew better than to promise things and expect them in return. But... he really wouldn't know what to do with himself if he lost Adrian.]

[He nods, hands massaging down to his lower back now as he leaves a light kiss on Jack's hair.]

As long as I'm in this building, I promise I won't abandon you.

[He nods, leaning back to kiss him lightly on the lips in return.]

I promise the same.

[Returning the kiss, he stops the massage all together in favor of slipping his arms around Jack's waist from behind.]

That means a lot to me~

[He likes the idea of security. It's comforting.]

[He leans back against him with a small smile, his hands over Vamp's.]

Your alternate looked pretty happy. Have you ever thought about settling down?

[...Err]

Uh, not necessarily with anyone in particular. Just... in general.

...He did.

[He frowns, placing his chin back on Jack's shoulder at that question.]

Settle down? You mean get married, have a family?

[There's a long pause.] ...I've thought about it, but I don't know how to make somebody happy that way. I barely remember my own parents... and now knowing that I won't be around very much longer...

[He trails off, clearly unsure how to put this all into words.]

Not necessarily getting married or having a family. Just... being in a meaningful relationship with someone you care for.

[He reaches a hand up to stroke through Vamp's hair.]

For all I know, I could have died the day after Rose came back to me. It's not about how much time we have left, it's about what we do with it.

Hm.

[He closes his eyes, unable to stop a small smile from returning when Jack pets his hair.]

Being with only one person, you mean?

Yeah. Having something just the two of you can share.

[He smiles a little at the thought. It was a nice thought.]

With the right person... it provides comfort and stability.

I suppose it sounds nice.

[Nothing he's really experienced before, however. He doesn't know if he could do that at this point, not with everything he's gotten himself into.]

But I don't know if it's possible for me.

Of course it's possible for you. It was possible for the other two versions of you I've met, it's possible for you.

[He looks back at him, running a finger along Vamp's jawline lightly.]

Don't deny yourself happiness if you can find it, Adrian.

The circumstances are different...

[The others weren't with Scott when they arrived here, and now he'd brought Snake into this as well. He hadn't intended anything to go so far, but apparently sleeping with the same person several times will do that.]

I'd hurt people I care about if I chose that path. They'd despise me.

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