//eyes on me

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

[After a room had turned Liquid into a perfectly healthy version of himself that actually looked forty-two rather than death warmed over, his mood had improved considerably. Add that to the fact that he had finally reconciled with his Otacon, and things were definitely looking up for him.]

There should be one around here somewhere.

[So now they were walking through the halls in search of a kitchen--some calm and quiet time between the two of them was long overdue.]

[Locked to vestri_vires]

Comments

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

[Because he was a victim of selective stupidity.]

You know, love, it's not easy to finish making this tea with you hanging on me. Not that I particularly mind it.

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

[He lets him go, but not before pressing a light kiss to his jaw. Instead of returning to his seat, he leans against the bench.]

You're right, I'm sorry.

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

[Liquid wasn't blushing just slightly. It must have been a trick of the light.]

You apologize far too much, Hal. [He smirked, holding out a cup of tea for the engineer while taking one for himself.]

[It had been a long time since he had been home in England, but the blond still prided himself on his ability to make a flawless cup of tea.]

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

[He takes the cup with a slight smile.]

Thanks.

[Sipping it leisurely, he smiles.]

As delicious as always.

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

You're damn right it is. [His smirk grew just a little wider at that.]

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

You always make the best tea, James.

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

I'm careful to make sure I do everything to the absolute best of my ability.

[He glanced pointedly at Otacon with a mischievous smirk.]

Everything.

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

[Hal goes a little red at that, though he smiles.]

I have to agree.

[Quickly he takes a sip of his tea so he has the chance to stop his cheeks burning.]

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

[Otacon was embarrassed. Mission accomplished.]

[Snickering, Liquid took a drink of his own tea while slipping his free arm around Otacon's waist.]

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

[He leans into Liquid without thinking, smiling into his cup. His cheeks are still burning.]

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

[Liquid didn't say a word for aminute or two, quite content to stay like that for a bit longer.]

...it feels like I haven't seen you in forever.

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

...same here.

[His meaning is a little different. Even when they'd been together, it had been like they were apart. He hadn't really "seen" Liquid then, not wanting to look, to see that handsome face filled with the sadness or hatred he knew the man surely must feel.]

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

...I want you to know I never hated you. I was angry, certainly, but I didn't hate you.

[Hatred came easily for Liquid, and it always had. He could despise someone so easily for the smalest of things, from his father for treating him miserably right down to Raiden somany years ago just for being irritating. And even though it had felt like Hal stabbed him in the chest...that burning hatred simply never came into play.]

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

[He closes his eyes, resting his head on James' shoulder. It hurt, somehow, to realise Liquid hadn't hated him. He'd been so sure that the man would never forgive him, that he'd hate him forever... But he was relieved, as well.]

I wouldn't have blamed you if you did.

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

I won't lie, I certainly tried to. I thought if I did, it would be easier. That perhaps it wouldn't bother me as much.

[He sighed, setting down his cup of tea and tightening his hold on Otacon.]

But I couldn't. I simply couldn't hate you after all we'd been through together.

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

[There are tears pricking at his eyes and he blinks them back.]

I thought... I'd ruined everything. That you'd hate me forever.

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

I've hated far too many people for far too long. Father, Brother, myself...I could never do the same to you. Ever.

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

...I never meant... to hurt you. I thought it would be better for you if I...

[He can't say it.]

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

You're such an imbecile...

[He wrapped his arms around Otacon's shoulders, pulling him close.]

...such a bloody imbecile.

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

...I know.

[He takes comfort in the closeness, trying not to cry.]

I was such a fool....

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

...I need you, Hal.I can't deal with this alone.

[In the back of his mind he remembered the conversation with Solidus, how each of them seemed to have someone keeping them relatively sane. Liquid and Otacon were partners and always had been; one was nothing without the other.]

I'm bloody terrified, Hal. I need you here--I don't want to end up dying alone. I don't want to go back to thinking I'm worthless and inferior.

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

You're not alone, James. I'm here. I'll always be here. I promised I wouldn't leave you again and I meant it.

[Hearing the admission that James, his James was terrified... it hurt. It cut deep down into him, like knives into his heart. Had he done this? Made James as afraid as this?]

I'm here, I love you, and I'm staying with you no matter what happens.

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

[Liquidmight have been shaking just a little bit--he hid it the best that he could by hugging Otacon a little tighter.]

I don't want to die like this, Hal. It's not...it's just not fair, I can't...

[He trailed off, voice unsteady and threatening to crack.]

I'm not afraid to die. I just...I'm not ready for this.

[vestri-vires.livejournal.com]

I don't want you to die either...

[His own arms are wrapped tightly around Liquid's waist, holding him close.]

...I don't know what to do. I want to help you so, so badly...

[worlds-serpent.livejournal.com]

...just stay with me, Hal. Please...that's all I want.