Oh my...

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[A lone beret sits in the middle of one of the hallways, cold and dirtied with a few creases too many, none of them for stylish reasons.  Normally when it is dropped, it's used to being picked right back up again, patted lovingly and canted at its favorite dashing angle. 

But not this time.  This time it lay crumpled, lost or forgotten, having waited Motherland knows how long to be picked up again.  It missed sitting atop nicely cropped blond hair, the wind caressing its fibers, the sun warming its colors. 

It hasn't seen any of its own kind in quite a while, devoted lesser berets that despite being not nearly as fashionable were always loyal.  One of the last things imprinted on its expertly knitted structure was the feeling of suddenly being very drafty, of an ugly, dirty green bandanna whipping about in the wind from some distance away, shooting him off the head on which he had guarded for so long.

That and much tinier, unpleasant little holes made by BEES.  Bees, little angry things with needles on their bottoms.  Though the ones he had dutifully suffered through in the line of duty seemed much angrier than bees, perhaps they were something else....

The fibers were loosening pitifully, having lost much hope of ever being on duty again....] 

(OOC: pick up, kick around, chew on, pass by, spit on, rescue, steal, etc?)

Comments

[poisonedfear.livejournal.com]

[Fear squints at the hat, picks it up, and sticks it on his head. Because he can.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[The beret feels slightly clammy hands pick it up, surely not those of its master.

Oh sweet communism, what kind of head is this?! Farther off the ground than it is used too, the still dirtied beret is panicked, but at least glad to be off the ground.

It feels...odd. The hair is strangely smooth, and the hat slips slightly, having to deal with the longer strands. Maybe its band grips a little around this strange man's temples. Maybe its threads whisper strange thoughts into this new head, and just maybe it has the power to make whoever wears it look irresistibly cool]

[poisonedfear.livejournal.com]

[Fear already looks irresistably cool. But the hat can't harm it, surely 8D He dusts it off slightly, keeping it on his head. Ho hum.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[The hat isn't going to deny that Fear's got some smexiness of his own going on, and though it remains loyal to the cropped hair major, one of its many purposes is to make things stylish.

And it really doesn't hurt the beret's growing gratitude for the New Hair when a hand reaches up to dust it off. It had been so long since a hand had cared, and the band loosens a little before tightening again, in what can only be assumed is a beret-hug.

Against its better stitched judgment, dazed with the warmth being emitted, the hat has a growing fondness for its rescuer]

[poisonedfear.livejournal.com]

[Fear carries on down the hall, whistling cheerfully with his new stylish hat~]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[The beret relaxes happily, slumping into a more dashing slantflop, ready to aid in anything that required his New Hair to be stylish in]

[gaykko.livejournal.com]

[Legs goes STOMP STOMP STOMP down the hall when its sensors spy...]

?

[Ooh, a hat .3]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[sensing movement in the ground, all its fibers tense. The hat grows intensely nervous, willing the whateverthehellthatis to just go away.

Though it won't deny the legs are pretty sexy.

After several moments of being sensor violated scanned, it senses a strange sort of...benevolence from the legs, and a small part of the beret, maybe the flop to the right part, wishes it were big enough to be worn by this magnificent set of legs]

[gaykko.livejournal.com]

[Legs goes to poke at it with a tentacle-wire. Ooh, nice fibers. Then it goes to pick it up.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[The beret twitches slightly at the tentacle-wire poking. Not unpleasant, but...different somehow.
The fibers suddenly feel very appreciated, though the hat as a whole is a bit alarmed at the unusual movement as it is being picked up.

To be worn by such a fine pair of legs would truly be an honor, though some guilt lingered in the depths of its nondescript Russian label that it was cheating on his short haired major. But was it really being unfaithful if the legs were not human? Its flop said no but its brim said yes, and as it is being lifted gloriously into the air, all argument ceases]

[gaykko.livejournal.com]

[Oh beret so beautiful and red,
you look so pretty on Legs' head.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[Unable to contain its joy, the beret may have turned a slightly darker shade of red, not used to such wooing though its Original Hair certainly said nice things to it.
It steadies itself on the unusual and new cranial platform, before tightening and loosening its band and adjusting its threads in a strange pattern.

Legs so long and mechanical
If it could give you flowers they would be quite...botanical]

[cargo-corvid.livejournal.com]

[Now where has Bogart seen a hat like this before...? Ah, that's right. The guy he learned one of his favorite tricks from. Perhaps it's been misplaced?]

[The raven opens his beak and...]

MRRROWRR!

oh man, that is cruel :D

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[All the beret's threads are immediately and simultaneously trying to get towards that meow. They convulse disturbingly, and the hat flops pitifully on the ground, with little idea as to where that meow is coming from.

It is unaware of anything else besides the almost painful urge to GET TO THE NOISE and be rejoined once again with its true master. Oh to be a sock so that perhaps it could walk, or a pair of underwear that could scoot!

It continues to twitch, determined to get to its major]

[cargo-corvid.livejournal.com]

[Aw, poor hat. No harm in watching it until its owner can arrive, the bird supposes.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[The meowing has tapered off and the beret flips over one last time, a few threads torn with its effort to be worn be worn be worn by his glorious, meowing major once more.

Silence reigns again. The dirt sifts into its threads.
It senses a presence still watching it. The flop droops sadly]

[oop1spilled.livejournal.com]

[THE GLASS'S BANDANNA SWAYS EPICALLY IN THE NEXIAN WIND.]

fft I need an angry beret icon haha

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[THAT. YOU. BANDANNA!!!!!!!

YOU AND YOUR SMARMY, OVERLY ROGUISH WAYS. THE BERET SPAZZES VIOLENTLY IN AN ATTEMPT TO REACH ITS NEMESIS WITHOUT HUMAN HELP.

IT WOULD TAKE WEEKS FOR THE ALREADY STITCHED UP BULLET HOLES TO HEAL EMOTIONALLY. OH HO, THIS IS ONE PIECE OF FABRIC IT WOULD NOT BE FORGETTING.

IT TWITCHES, DETERMINED. IT'S ON, YOU SAD EXCUSE FOR SOMETHING THAT GOES ON A HEAD.]

:3

[oop1spilled.livejournal.com]

[THE GLASS REMAINS UNMOVING. IT STANDS THERE, DEFIANT. THE BANDANNA CONTINUES TO WAVE, ALMOST AS IF COMPLETELY IGNORING THE BARET. WHY SHOULD THE BANDANNA EVEN SPARE A GLANCE TO THE BARETTE. WHY PAY ATTENTION TO SOMETHING THAT WAS CLEARLY NOT AS AWESOME AS IT.

>:3

The Glass would chuckle at the flailing baret if it had lungs. But it does not.]

>:I

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[THE BERET TWITCHES MORE VIOLENTLY, DETERMINED TO BE NOTICED AND DUELED. WITH WHAT, IT WAS NOT ENTIRELY SURE BUT DAMN IT, IT WOULD WIN.
CLEARLY BEING IGNORED WAS THE IMMATURITY THAT COMES WITH JEALOUSY, FOR WHAT COULD BE MORE AWESOME AND STYLISH THAN ITS OWN FINE SELF.

>(

The beret would shoot that smug bandanna right off its glass crony if it could. But it can't. So it spazzes more and STARES (with every single one of its MORE AWESOME stitches).]

[eatenbyagru.livejournal.com]

[Where berets are, soldiers follow! And where soldiers are, rations are eaten!

The ration sits proudly, ready to serve the troops~]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[The beret notices a very familiar site, one of those disgusting delicious things his major and other loyal berets feed off of.

It is extremely grateful for the friendly company, and perks up a little, slightly embarrassed at falling so easily into the hat equivalent of despair.

Puffing up its top it twitches a few inches closer to the ration, perhaps trying to show off a little or maybe it is just attempting a safety in numbers tactic]

[coveredinmeeeee.livejournal.com]

[Bees are terrible things. The 'bullet bee' hornets know this. So what better to do for a victim of the vicious herbavores than to pick it up and use it as a hat for a few dozen hornets?]

[The first lucky wearer crawls near, attempting to crawl inside through a bee hole.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[Feeling a distantly familiar vibration in the air, the threads tense as a buzzing grows closer.

Oh Motherland. Not again.

Before the stitches even have a chance to convulse its whole self away, little legs cling to the threads and begin slowly crawling to one of its injuries.

The beret suddenly feels extremely violated in the strangest way as the hornet makes its way through. Remaining perfectly still so as to not alarm its new host into rash action, the beret wonders, panicked, how one tiny thing can possibly wear it]

[coveredinmeeeee.livejournal.com]

[As soon as the one makes sure the beret is safe, it motions the others over. Soon, dozens of hornets have crawled into the beret and have pushed it a few inches into the air, where it then starts wobbling down the hallway, back to the nest. Apparently they don't know what protective coloration is. :D]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[Comrade-damn-it-all, the beret didn't know this thing had its own army
The beret barely has seconds to try to get its stitches to close up the holes before a small battalion of the hornets violate and invade its silk lined inside.

And then

Movement. Movement without a head, and the beret was so utterly baffled at this that it didn't even notice the direction its new carriers were going. It floated on down the hallway, thankful the creatures weren't stinging it, with the vague hope that its magnificent coloring would catch help's attention.
Though always one for excitement, it won't deny that this new experience is...thrilling]

[coveredinmeeeee.livejournal.com]

[The hornets whirr around, enjoying the cool silk lining of the beret. The darkness under the hat reminds them of home.]

[They start heading towards a room with a half-opened door, buzzing excitedly and rubbing against the hat affectionately. Just wait until they showed the queen what they found! She would be so pleased!]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[The vibrations caused by the buzzing were at first unbearable, but as it continued to wobble and weave down the hallway, the beret grew used to it.]

[They seemed content to just bee moving it along, some of them nestling against its inner lining, their fuzzy bodies creating interesting sensations that almost tickled.]

[Judging by the coolness of the shadows that fell over it, the beret supposed it was being taken through a door, and the buzzing suddenly increased tenfold. It couldn't help being curious, perhaps a trait it picked up from its major...]

[coveredinmeeeee.livejournal.com]

[The hornets lift in one smooth motion, flying into the small woodland room. The moon watches as they fly the beret to the hive they have set up, small and black as a smoker's lung.]

[Other hornets, guards, fly out to greet them and rub against the hat. It reminded them of the home they had been ripped out of, with the scent of food and hornet on it. Perhaps it would comfort the queen? She missed her large, human nest, and it was disrupting the creaton of larvae; maybe this would comfort her.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[the beret feels the slight resistance of the wind, the deep coolness that comes with the woods. The hornets carry it forward]

[Hearing more intrigued buzzing, the beret feels slightly bigger fuzzed bodies snuggle it on the outside, while the herd enjoying its lining buzzed happily, excited it presumed.]

[The beret is close to giving up on trying to figure out an escape plan, the overwhelming sense of being wanted sifting and settling into its fibers. But a deeper, more disturbing warning lay beneath the deep buzz all around in it. They wanted it, surely, but for what purpose? The threads shifted very slightly, nervous through instinct, still on guard as to why these creatures were so fascinated with it. Vanity would get it no where, so it dispelled fashionable reasons.]

[That hornet man, he had these creatures and the beret searched through its stitches to recall.....oh no. They liked to nest in....and it must still carry the scent of...human]

[coveredinmeeeee.livejournal.com]

[They finally fly up to their nest, contemplating how to get the hat in. Finally, they open a small hole in the nest that will fit the beret if squished down which connects to the queen's chambers.]

[They start pressing it in. The queen shifts in her chambers, thorax quivering, as she smells something familiar, and starts to drag herself forwards while her attendants carry the eggs she has laid down with the rest of the children.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[The beret senses tell it that it has approached something large, something containing innumerable amounts of these increasingly horrifying creatures.]

[Still oblivious as to what it is wanted it for, though it was betting on food, hoping they would soon realize it was not for eating. Suddenly it is being compacted and smooshed in all the worst ways, but it is unable to struggle violently or even meekly in the small confines of the tiny buzzing corridor.]

[A bigger, much more noble and regal buzz disturbs the air around it. The beret knew something about noble and regal. It must be...their queen. As the beret was carried deeper into the darkness, loose threads picked up the vibrations of more hornets behind the queen. They were moving slowly, evidently weighed down by something....]

[coveredinmeeeee.livejournal.com]

[There is a moment akin to a held breath as the hornets watch the queen climb into the beret, frail legs making small indents in the silk.]

Bzzzzzzzzzzz♥

[The swarm sighs in unison as the queen makes herself comfortable in the beret, then start making plans to enlarge the nest so that the beret can fit better inside it.]

[The queen, meanwhile, just rubs against the shimmering insides of the beret, contented.]

oh god a hat full of hornet eggs....

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[A much, much heaver presence makes itself known against the beret's once impeccable lining. Their queen, it assumes with mild panic, but hopefully she would find it unacceptable and

It knew that type of vibration. That was a happy, loving purrbuzz that meant it was not to be left alone for a while.]

[Oh. Shit. That is just...that is absolutely disgusting; the beret tries to convulse in horror once it realizes that it was not meant to be food but a nest and now she was rubbing against it like that and-to be this loved was a bit embarrassing and overwhelming, perhaps the beret could get used to it and maybe even be a bit proud to host hundreds, perhaps thousands of children. Maybe. Perhaps.

Or maybe it could still figure a way out, though that seemed impossible. For now it would accept its fate and lie in wait, planning and sneaky like its major, until the day came when it could escape. And get thoroughly dry cleaned.]

[coveredinmeeeee.livejournal.com]

[Unaware of the hat's revulsion, the queen starts to lay eggs. Her attendents swarm around her, taking the children away and giving the beret warning looks--if it hurt her, they would put so many holes in it--]

[Business as usual for the rest of the hive goes on, purring now that the queen is feeling better.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[Fat, slippery eggs plop down on its beautiful, painstakingly well crafted silk lining, and the beret is this close to using all its remaining strength to flip over and do whatever it could to escape, but the buzzing all around it, with a strong undertone of warning, made it hold still and endure this torture]

[The queen was happy, it could tell, and it reluctantly served as the new carrier for her next generation.]

[looking4master.livejournal.com]

Toy!

[A pack of eight huskies come running.]

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[OH SWEET MOTHERLAND, NO!!]

[The beret PANICS and tries to get away, but being a mere hat it cannot escape. It braces for impact.]

[looking4master.livejournal.com]

[Chomp]

Tug. TUG! TUG OF WAR!~ This is nostalgic.

[A few of the dogs nom on and start tugging the hat in many directions, trying to best each other at this game.]

This brings back memories. Puppyhood!

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[OW OW OW OW OW MY THREADS, MY BEAUTIFUL THREADS, YOU ABSOLUTE MONSTERS THIS LINING WAS EXPENSIVE I WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SHADE OF COMMUNISM RED AND NOW I AM DARKENED WITH SLOBBER]

[The beret can do nothing to stop this madness, but screams its Russian label heart out at the mistreatment. The BEASTS were no doubt getting entertainment from such torture, and amidst the haze of DEARGODMYFLOP the beret wondered if they wanted information from it]

[Not that it would work. It would be torn apart before such treachery occured! DO YOUR WORST, FILTHY AMERICAN DOGS.]

[looking4master.livejournal.com]

[Poor beret. The dogs really mean no harm, but in their vision, they only see a toy.]

Play, play! You're losing. No, YOU'RE losing! Harder, tug tug!

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[Regardless of what those mutts see, the beret feels....]

[Oh no. The dogs increase their tugging, the beret caught helplessly and pitifully in the middle, stretched to its knitted max when suddenly---

RRRIIIIPPPPPPP

It is pulled apart into several different pieces, and any other clothing, hats, or inanimate objects in the area would have heard a cotton/felt-blend shattering scream. Alas, it remains silent to the ears of the dogs.]

[looking4master.livejournal.com]

[There is a sudden silence from the dogs when the beret tears apart. They cock their heads at the torn pieces. They paw at it and whine. Oh, they didn't mean to tear it apart. They were just playing tug of war..]

Fix? Maybe Master can fix it. You broke it! Hey, you played too! Oh noes.

((Go here (http://community.livejournal.com/fissionmailed/554170.html).))

[youdroppedthis.livejournal.com]

[The beret is silent.]