Mmm...

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

There's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long ripe banana into a well greased chamber...

[Ocelot sat on top of a mountain of fresh bananas, right in the center of one of the Nexus' halls.]

Comments

[selfesteemteam.livejournal.com]

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

Ocelot unit? What happened to your uniforms (http://i.imgur.com/Hgnsq.jpg)?

[selfesteemteam.livejournal.com]

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

Not those uniforms--your banana uniforms! Are we going to have to go through banana training again?

[selfesteemteam.livejournal.com]

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

That's right, banana training.

[Ocelot tosses them each a banana.] Now drop your pants.

[selfesteemteam.livejournal.com]

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

Now bend over.

[HIS EYES GLEAM BANANAISHLY.]

[selfesteemteam.livejournal.com]

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

STOP THAT YOU BUFFOON!

[SLAPS THE BANANA AWAY.]

Bananas are meant to go up your rectum!

[selfesteemteam.livejournal.com]

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

YOU HEARD ME! Now drop and give me 50 bananas!

[comp-kunoichi.livejournal.com]

[WELL. Emma wasn't sure what she was seeing, but she approached anyway. Bananas were high in potassium and other nummy nutrients, after all.]

Mind if I have one?

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

[Ocelot stood defensively in front of his fortress of produce.]

Hands off my bananas, you bitch.

[comp-kunoichi.livejournal.com]

Excuse me?

[How dare you cuss at a lady like that!]

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

I said, HANDS OFF MY BANANAS.

[A beat.] You bitch.

[comp-kunoichi.livejournal.com]

[The hands were on her hips. And boy, were those fingers drumming.]

I have a few words for you as well, but my dad taught me swearing is a bad habit to get into.

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

[He eats a banana and throws the peel at her.]

Good for you lady, now if you excuse me, me and the bananas have some things to do.

[comp-kunoichi.livejournal.com]

[. . . . .]

[Firmly deciding this Ocelot was a mental case, Emma shook her head with a sigh, muttering one word as she walked around the pile and further down the hall.]

Weirdo.

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

[He doesn't notice her leaving because he's too busy fondling a bunch of bananas.]

[stealthykid.livejournal.com]

[Gee mister, that doesn't sound like an appropriate use of bananas]

What's a banana genius?

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

ME.

I know all about bananas, about their sizes, texture, nutrients...I know bananas.

[stealthykid.livejournal.com]

...why?

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

WHY NOT?

[stealthykid.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't you want to be a genius at something more useful?

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

[GRITTING HIS TEETH LIKE AN ANGRY BANANA]

What's not useful about bananas?

[stealthykid.livejournal.com]

They're only good for eating. You can't really do much else with them.

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

That's exactly what a stupid kid like you would say.

[stealthykid.livejournal.com]

I'd rather be a stupid kid than something as stupid as a banana genius.

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

I'd rather be a banana than a stupid kid!

[stealthykid.livejournal.com]

That only proves you're an idiot.

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

That only proves that you failed all your banana classes!

[stealthykid.livejournal.com]

There's no such thing as banana classes!

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

STOP WASTING FOOD, DAMMIT!

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

I'M NOT WASTING IT, WE'RE BONDING!

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

WHAT KIND OF GREASY CHAMBERS ARE YOU SLAMMING HELPLESS BANANAS INTO ANYWAY?

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

MY GREASY CHAMBER.

[jackassjohn.livejournal.com]

NO BANANA DESERVES THAT FATE!

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

WE--THE BANANAS AND I--HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING.

YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, JOHN BANANA!

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Oh what the hell is it now? First his other self was throwing snowballs in a bout of creeping senile madness (he was settling well over that!) and now...?

He harshly huffed over, snapped a banana from the pile, and flung it at his former enemy and his ... display.]

/Are you trying to mock me since that Wolf debacle? Wasn't winning enough for you?/

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

[Ocelot caught the banana in one hand, smirking triumphantly before sticking it down the front of his shirt and letting out a soft moan.]

/Banana Volgin...I don't know what you're talking about, but I thought we had an agreement--don't disrespect the bananas!/

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Oh by the sweet and holy puckered rectum of Lenin what madness have I walked into.]

/Banana Volgin?!/

[bananacelot.livejournal.com]

/That's your title, Banana./

[colonelcrotchgrab]

/So, what started this... banana fixation?/

[Consider him too confused and befuddled by this display to really launch himself into sudden violence.]