fissionmailed | [Let's take a walk]

Current Location: The halls

Entry tags:

elisula,
stoicism

[Let's take a walk]

[Elisa walked down the hallway with a pleasant smile on her features, after exiting the nearby elevator. She's not wearing her normal 'work clothes' today, surprisingly enough- and instead dons a pair of shorts with an oversized T-shirt and sneakers on her feet. The girl's long, uneven blonde hair is tied back in a low ponytail that reaches down to the middle of her back.]

[In this medic's hand is a leash. And attached to this long leash is... a certain teenage boy.]

[This boy wears a pair of shorts and sandals that she dressed him in herself, a tanktop, a collar around his neck... and a securely-wrapped straitjacket.]

Isn't this nice, Null? [She walks him along; her grip firmly holding the other end of his leash] Must feel good to stretch your legs after days of being inside, hm?

[-Not that she expects him to respond. Even if he's no longer completely sedated as he was for a good amount of this week, Null is likely still not in the best of moods... not that it's ever easy to tell what mood he's in, exactly. A wistful sigh] This is just like old times. [For better, and for worse.]

[She'll enjoy this nostalgia while she can. Depending on Null's behavior, this may be the last day that she can actually call herself his caretaker.

((Elisa is taking her Null out for a walk :| But feel free to approach them for a chat, if you wish. Takes place after these ordeals.))

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[Happy isn't a descriptor often fitting of Null.]

[After being off his medication for so long, it had been a trial to get his body to begin accepting it again. Elisa went through several combinations until she found something that was ideal - oddly enough, it was something she hadn't had the boy on since he first came into her care in the Nexus. A low-dosage of clonazepam would suffice until she could ween him back to diazepam. A combination of his medication with heavy sedatives had left the boy in a state of partial awareness for the past week or so. He trudges awkwardly, shuffling his feet as he casts his gaze down to the floor. The effects of the mild sedative the medic had given him earlier was beginning to wear off.]

[He still doesn't say a word, just allows the woman to lead him through the halls.]

[He should be feeling more alert in a matter of minutes- no more than an hour, anyway. Elisa wants his senses to be more or less back to 'normal' by the time she decides whether it would be okay to let him out of the jacket or not. Until then... she can simply enjoy his company.]

How about we go to the park, hm? It's not far from here... Might be nice, if it isn't too hot out.

[She turns the next corner and begins heading toward the park room. This really reminds her of those times back in South America, when she would take Null out of his culture tank and walk him around outside for a peaceful stroll. Elisa really enjoyed that... Null probably didn't think much of it, though. The medic wonders if he even remembers... Maybe she'll ask once his mind is a bit more cleared up.]

[Deciding to test his cognition, she clears her throat and addresses him]

Hey, Null...?

Edited 2010-08-19 04:32 (UTC)

[it takes a moment but Null slowly turns his head in Elisa's direction, regarding the woman with tired eyes. He's slowly becoming cognizant of his surroundings, recognizing Elisa's voice as they move through the halls.]

.....

[Not knowing what to say, exactly, Elisa just offers Null a sad smile.] We're almost there.

[She looks ahead as they walk now, mostly staring toward the floor. A few minutes pass.]

[Eventually they reach the door to the park room, so Elisa opens it up for herself and Null.]

[Blinking] Wow, it really is pretty hot out... But at least there's a nice breeze today. Almost makes me wish that I brought some food... We could have had a picnic.

...Are you hungry? [She looks to him, wondering if he'll respond]

Edited 2010-08-19 22:29 (UTC)

[Her question is enough to make him shake his head, affirming that he doesn't want anything. The sedatives he's been on have suppressed his appetite considerably, despite having not eaten anything since breakfast, Null finds himself declining her offer.]

[Good. At least he responded, even if it wasn't vocally. Looks like he can fully understand her now...]

[A sigh] Okay. Lets find a shady tree to sit under.

I think... it's about time that you and I had a talk.

[She turns toward the grassy area, and makes her way over as she walks Null along. There's a rather large tree nearby, which she goes to sit under. Elisa watches Null for a moment as she patiently waits for him to come down to her level and do the same.]

[Despite Elisa's instruction, Null remains standing. Though he can't seem to verbalize it, part of him feels a faint sense of concern on whether or not he will be capable of standing again once he moves to the ground. Straitjackets have never been his favourite things; they're stiff, difficult to move in and render him defenseless. This is evidently not his forte.]

[Yet, despite initial hesitation, it remains an order. Slowly he bends at the knees, sinking down towards the grass.]

[He was hesitant, but he actually decided to comply on his own. ...Good sign.]

[A small breath] I think... we can get rid of this now. [Getting onto her knees and leaning over, Elisa goes to undo Null's straitjacket]

It's probably much to hot for it right now anyway, huh? [Pulling at the various straps and buckles]

[As the buckles and straps come undone, Null takes a moment to look at himself. He moves his arms slowly, lifting them up and down as if marveling at their new found freedom. He flexes his fingers and rotates his shoulders, getting used to the feeling of the heavy restraint now off of his torso.]

[It only takes a moment but once he's fully aware that his body is now free of those shackles, he scrambles up to his feet and kicks off his sandals - bolting away from the tree Elisa's sitting under as fast as he can.]

Edited 2010-08-21 07:00 (UTC)

NULL- WAIT...!

[She almost went to grab the leash that's still attached to his neck, but at Null's speed it would do nothing but cause pain for both herself and possibly him as well.]

[Elisa was prepared for him deciding to leave her; she just figured that she'd have a chance to explain herself first, at least. The original plan was to sit down and discuss the situation fully- and if he still decided to leave, she would help him to find a new room for himself... maybe even move a few things into it, so that he would still have a comfortable and private environment to return to after he was done with his usual training schedule.]

[But... having him run off like this; ending things so abruptly and without any hesitation whatsoever... It hurts.]

[The full gravity of the situation hasn't hit her just yet. The girl slowly sits back once more, watching as the boy runs off. ...There's nothing else she can do.]

[As Elisa watches him, lost amid her own thoughts, she fails to notice the boy make a sharp turn. He skids a short distance, losing his footing but regaining himself by momentarily running on all fours. He lifts himself back up to two feet, moving with great speed back towards where Elisa sits. He runs past the tree now, running in a wide circle around it as he repeats the process over again.]

[The boy wasn't running away from her, it was quite on the contrary. Null was simply running, something he hadn't been able to comfortably do in quite some time. Between his medication and the sedatives, he'd been barely able to move, scarcely conscious of his surroundings. To be able to fully experience the wind whipping past him and cool blades of grass beneath his feet is something the young soldier has yearned for.]

[With the sedatives now completely wearing off, Null is invigorated - full of a boundless energy. He circles around the tree again, leash trailing behind him. He fails to even notice its presence, even as it smacks hard against his calves and leaves small, red marks. He's too full of adrenaline, too focused on his task - he has no mission right now, no assignments, no scheduled training regime. All he can zero his mind in on right now is savouring his freedom after being trapped in his own mental prison for the last several weeks.]

............

[Elisa.... is confused, for about a minute or so, as she watches Null run in circles.]

[But eventually her body relaxes, and a slow smile tugs at the corners of her lips. She exhales a breath that didn't even know she was holding, and then calmly rests her back against the tree as she watches him.]

[...He's like an excited puppy or something... She almost feels bad now; seeing how badly Null really wanted to be free from his restraints.]

I... suppose that our talk can wait a few more minutes.

[Null runs for a solid ten minutes, his pace never slowing for an instant. Finally, he returns to the tree, kicking his own legs out from under himself and falling to the ground in front of the medic. He rolls onto his side and pants heavily, successfully spent as he allows himself to close his eyes and allow himself a moment's rest.]

[His body is sweaty and sticky, the cool ground beneath him feels relaxing against his warm flesh. His usually paled skin is flushed red from exhaustion, his pulse still elevated from his mad dash. His usual training methods are much different; more controlled, a steady pace allowing himself to exercise every part of both his mind and body. Running about as he was moments ago was certainly a drastic deviation from his usual schedule but definitely a much needed release.]

.... [Gently reaching out to smooth her fingers through his hair, if permitted. It's getting a little longer than it normally is. Probably needs a little trim...]

I'm sorry. Sorry for having to sedate you like that. I genuinely... don't enjoy doing it.

[Continuing to lay there, he makes no move to indicate any displeasure with her touching his head. His breathing begins to slowly even out, his body finally coming down from the high it was experiencing.]

What did you wish to discuss?

[Elisa sighs. Once again, she has to tell this already-difficult-to-explain story; this time likely resulting in even more confusion, seeing as Null had never witnessed the effects of the Mirror Room himself, before.]

What you saw... in a way, was what it looked like. But I... I would never do something like that normally. You know that, right? ...I love life far too much to do so.

That day, I walked into a place called "The Mirror Room", which would usually completely flip the personality of whoever walked into it. But, I think the room got confused somewhere due to the fact that I have... er... the thing with Ursula. 2 separate personalities... [She really hates acknowledging her mental disorder directly.]

Anyway- Ursula and I are obviously very different. But I wouldn't exactly call us "opposites". The room's effect is supposed to more-or-less make you the opposite of who you are. I guess the personality I had that day was the closest that the room could get to a complete change of both of our personalities.

Despite our differences, there are some things that Ursula and I both feel similarly about. For example- Nuclear weapons. ...And the way we both value and appreciate the lives we have. After I left the mirror room; suddenly... it changed. I no longer felt my usual optimism or love of life. Nor did I feel Ursula's strong pride and willingness to continue on...

I just felt confused, and scared. I felt like I had no one. Like there was no point in living- like I wasn't even worthy of life.

...I'd never been driven to that point of despair before. And obviously... I didn't handle it very well.

[Elisa furrows her brow] ...It was a stupid mistake. I never should have entered that room. ...I'm so sorry, Null...

[A moment of hesitation]

If you... if you still don't want to be with me, I'll understand. I just had to explain myself...

[Remaining silent as he listens to her tale, he holds a vague sense of understanding for that room. He recalls vague sensations of how that room once made him feel; feelings of weakness and loss. He couldn't rightly place what those feelings were then and he can't recall precisely what they were even now - but he does recognize that he disliked feeling that way. To envision Elisa in such a room isn't something he wishes to dwell on for very long.]

[Null begins to sit up, moving away from the young medic's touch. He faces her, eyes void of emotion as he casts his gaze to her own.]

...They had to drag me away from your body. I was prepared to remain by your corpse, soaked in your blood, until you returned to me.

[Elisa's eyes widen in surprise. With the way Null almost ran off upon her return, she never would have guessed that he had that reaction to seeing her corpse.]

[The thought of Null going through that trauma is very unsettling... and yet, in a twisted sort of way, Elisa finds the thought of him wanting to remain by her side to be very touching.]

[She's at a loss for words.]

...I'd never do that to you willingly. I'm so sorry, Null.

[Brow furrowing] Do you hate me?

[There's a long pause before he finally graces her with a reply. it's short and direct - nothing more and nothing less than Elisa should expect by this point.]

I am the perfect soldier. I am not capable of hate.

Edited 2010-08-21 21:41 (UTC)

[....Well that's... good? Even if that pause lasted far longer than she would've liked...]

....

What do you think you'll do now?

I will take my medicine and then I will resume training. I have neglected it for far too long.

I meant... more along the lines of what you'll do, concerning us...

...Think you'll be coming back home with me today?

Provided Ursula is not about to awaken, I see no reason as to why I wouldn't be.

[Relaxing her shoulders, Elisa smiles brightly as she looks to Null. Looks like she hasn't lost her "everything" just yet.]

[Her eye tears up a bit, but she quickly and discreetly wipes the moister away] ...I'm glad.

[Standing] C'mon. I'll get you back on your regular medication so that you can go back to your usual training schedule.

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[Let's take a walk]

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